Page 156 - EFI-RAV ZILBERSTIN_VOL 8.EFI-RAV ZILBERSTIN_VOL 8.1A
P. 156
Pg: 156 - 5-Front 21-10-31
have any concern because beis din is authorized to protect the woman
from the pain her husband inflicts on her.
I presented this question to my father-in-law Rav Y.S. Elyashiv
zt”l, and he responded as follows:
Adding substances to the husband’s food without his knowledge
is unjust, because the woman has no right to lower the level of his
hormones and to lessen his desire. Whoever does so is considered a
thief who steals his desire from him. In earlier times when a man was
allowed to marry several wives, a husband could tell his wife, “Either
you agree to what I desire or I will marry an additional wife,” and she
had no right to take his desire away from him.
Nowadays however, since Rabbenu Gershom imposed a ban on
marrying more than one wife and on divorcing a wife without her
consent, a woman is only under obligation to her husband for marital
relations at the times specified in Shulchan Aruch. (Even Ha’ezer 76)
If a woman’s husband is a laborer she is not under obligation more
than twice a week and if he is a Torah scholar, from one Friday night
to the next, see there. See also maseches Kiddushin (7a) where the
gemara says that if a man tells a woman, “Marry half of me” she is
married because his intention in saying this was that if he wishes,
he should be able to marry an additional wife. The Ritva comments:
“Even though without saying so a man is allowed to marry two wom-
en [before Rabbenu Gershom’s ban] for we rule in maseches Yevamos
(68a) that a man may marry several wives so long as he can provide
their needs, he nevertheless made this condition so that she shouldn’t
complain to him that he cannot fulfill her needs.” The Ritva then
offers an alternative explanation for this condition, according to the
practice of his own land where it was customary that a man married
only one wife and it was therefore forbidden to marry an additional
wife [even before Rabbenu Gershom’s ban], for once the custom is
established a wife marries her husband on that understanding and it
is as though they stipulated explicitly that he will not marry another
wife. In such a situation he would need to specify “Marry half of me”
in order to be able to later marry an additional wife.
We see from this that every woman marries and obligates herself
140 1 Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein