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the wife’s prior consent since he is not impinging upon any of her
rights. The physician is not obligated to tell the woman, because if her
onah suffers she can ask for a divorce. This is not similar to the case of
a man who is hoping to have children and does not know that his wife
is secretly preventing this by having had an IUD inserted to prevent
6 her becoming pregnant, without having informed him – elsewhere
we have written that the husband’s consent must be obtained before
taking such a step3. Here though, the woman can feel her husband’s
impotency and can ask for a divorce.
Taking Medication to Suppress Urges, in Order
to Avoid Sinning
Question: A husband who suffers from uncontrollable urges and
who is concerned that he may sin and therefore seeks treatment – the
physician knows that if he treats him, the man’s marital relations will
suffer. Should the physician treat him?
Response: It says in the Sefer Chassidim (620): “A certain person
was an adulterer and his relatives approached a Torah scholar for
some solution so that he would no longer engage in adultery. He said,
“I would feed him something that would eliminate his desire [such as
gudgedaniyos or tziporas ha’kramim – Mekor Hachesed] but I am not
entitled to do so because he will then be unable to have intercourse
with his wife, even if they already have children.”
In such a case then, there is no recourse besides suppressing his de-
sire through Torah study, as explained in maseches Sukkah (52b). It is
inappropriate to pity him because this remedy is available to him, for
he is able to learn and it is forbidden to deprive the wife of her dues.
3. See earlier, siman 226.
Treating Heightened Desire 2 145
