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and managing just fine, in regard to the baby too, perhaps she could
be relied upon not to neglect the child and to care for him properly
without her husband knowing. Perhaps there was no justification for
disrupting their domestic harmony and causing a divorce – and even
if he were to accept the situation he would bear ill feelings that could
lead to fights.

I presented this question to my father-in-law Rav Y.S. Elyashiv zt”l
and he responded as follows:

The father should be informed about the child’s diabetes, without
any concern for estrangement that is liable to ensue or a subsequent
divorce that may result, for in the meantime their marriage is [any-
way] considered to be based upon an erroneous understanding. For
had the husband known about her condition he would not have mar-
ried her, and particularly in view of the fact that she tricked him and
misled him and acted improperly. [See maseches Baba Metzia (101b),
where the gemara relates the account of a man who bought a ship
filled with barrels of wine and had nowhere to store the barrels. There
was a woman who had a storeroom that was able to accommodate the
large number of barrels but she refused to rent it to him. Sometime
later he proposed marriage to her and she agreed and she stored the
barrels. The husband then went home and sent her a get. She went to
the storeroom, hired porters to take out all the barrels and paid them
for their efforts from the barrels themselves. Rav Huna son of Rabbi
Yehoshua heard about this case and said, “As he did so shall be done
to him, his deeds shall be returned in kind.”]

We also need to be concerned about baby’s health rather than the
mother’s suffering. Since the baby’s health and quality of life will
best be served by informing the father and not relying solely on the
mother but on the father as well so that he can treat the child when
necessary. Everything possible should be done to save the child’s life
despite the great suffering he may endure as a result his parents sepa-
rating. It is preferable to worry about his life than his tranquility and.

My father-in-law zt”l, added that the secret will eventually become
known and it is better that she tell her husband than him hearing
it from others. [There was a case of young child who suffered from

334 1 Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein