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If the soldiers grabbed the daughter and the mother wants to offer
herself instead, even if she is single – she may not do so, though if
her daughter may become mentally deranged as a result it may be
permitted.

When I put all this to my father-in-law Rav Y.S. Elyashiv zt”l, he
disagreed with me, arguing as follows:

1. In his opinion, the daughter should not be allowed to de-
file herself instead of her mother, since the prohibition of
a niddah having relations also applies to relations with a
non Jew, as is clear from the Maharsha (Megilla 13b, s.v.
ka’asher). Although there is some intimation in the Baal
Hamaor in maseches Sanhedrin (18a in the Dapei Harif)
that this prohibition does not apply to relations with a
non Jew – see too the Chelkas Yoav (Yoreh De’ah, 29 in the
Note) – we do not rule this way.

2. Neither did my father-in-law accept the assumption that
the mother’s defilement would entail danger to life. He
asked: “And when her husband dies chas veshalom and she
is left a widow with small children, do people not manage
to overcome their terrible sadness?!” My father-in-law zt”l,
therefore ruled that although if the daughter did so and
gave herself over to be defiled, she needs no atonement, she
should not do so to begin with because whereas the moth-
er is an anussah, she would be defiling herself willingly.

3. My father-in-law zt”l, further pointed out: “Who can
guarantee that after the daughter gives herself over to be
defiled by these accursed ones, they will not also defile her
mother? So we will have gained nothing.”

To my father-in-law’s comments should be added, that
Chazal denigrated Lot for having given over his daughters
to the people of Sodom in order to save his guests [from
sodomy]. Although there is one opinion among Chazal that
the Sodomites wanted to kill the guests, it is nonetheless
not the Torah way to save guests by handing girls over to be

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