Page 80 - EFI-RAV ZILBERSTIN_VOL 8.EFI-RAV ZILBERSTIN_VOL 8.1A
P. 80
Pg: 80 - 3-Front 21-10-31
To question one: It appears that the woman is under no obligation
to fulfill her late husband’s wishes or his testament if she will suffer
as a result. Her suffering would involve being unable to remarry, for
if she became fertilized and gave birth she would be unable to marry
another man until her child was two years old. The child’s lineage
is tainted, because it was born to an unmarried couple. In addition,
people are liable to gossip about her and her child whose birth came
about in an improper manner. For all these reasons, it appears that a
woman is not obligated to suffer anguish in order to perpetuate her
husband. We shall now explain these concerns.
1. The Distress of Being Unable to Remarry – The Rambam
writes (Hilchos Gerushin 11:25-27),“The Sages also decreed that a man
should not marry a woman who is carrying another man’s unborn
child, or a woman who is nursing another man’s child…He should
not marry a pregnant woman, lest he harm the child… for he is not
particular about another man’s child. He should not marry a nursing
mother, lest the milk spoil and he won’t bother to cure the milk [sup-
ply] through beneficial measures that help milk if it spoils. How long
is the nursing period? Twenty four months… and even if she gave her
child to a wet nurse or weaned him within twenty four months she
may not remarry.”
We learn in Ba’er Heiteiv (Even Ha’ezer 13:13): “There was a case of
a widow who had three children and was pregnant. Her cousin was
a wealthy widower, to whom many were eager to become engaged.
Before he died, the widow’s husband called her and the widower and
instructed them to marry each other for the sake of his children’s wel-
fare, for the two of them were already related and he was rich. Now
the widower wanted to marry her but since she had to wait twenty
four months until she gave birth and the nursing period ended, he
couldn’t fulfill the deceased’s instructions and wait so long, because
he had children [of his own] and they required a lot of care. The
Shevus Yaakov (responsa 1,95) discusses whether there are grounds
for allowing him to marry her after the period of her confinement, if
she doesn’t begin to nurse the baby at all but hires a wet nurse or two
and makes them swear not to cancel their agreement and concludes
64 1 Medical-Halachic Responsa of Rav Zilberstein