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kind of makes me feel feminine. I never liked flowers anyway.

It's just me and Lynne giving life now, and she's going on and on about how a rose's color has
meaning and some kind of symbolization to it. She's so excited about it that I have to let her go on.
To see her face light up, all I can do is admire her.

For someone who has lost a part of who they are, it seems like she has become even more of a
person. Of course I didn't know her before she lost her foot, but she really is something now. She
has a reason to be angry but she's not, I have no reason to be angry but I am.

Now she is on the color yellow. Her color. The color I first saw her in. She tells me that a yellow
rose represents true friendship. Happiness. If I could grow a yellow rose maybe I would give it to
her, but chances are what should have been a yellow rose would come up a black rose.

I sit here planting these lilies with her on the shaded side of the building. The dark side of the
building, and all I can really think about is how my feelings for her are abnormal. Mutated. Black.
Dark. These words and words like them. When these lilies begin to grow I can only picture what
should be white being black.

I am in deep thought and she is trying to ask me a question but I'm not responding. She looks at me
and gives me a shove and I snap out of it, and I ask her what she was saying. Apparently she was
telling me about a dream she had last night, and then she asked me what things I dream about? I ask
her what she means, because people don't really have a certain theme to their dreams.

Then she says of course people do, she starts to talk about how she always has this dream where
she is in a field of apple trees and she is looking for an apple to eat, but the ones she comes across
always have dirt on them, so she never ends up eating any of the apples and throughout the dream
she becomes hungrier and hungrier until she wakes up.

She tells me that she is always having dreams like that, where what she's looking for is right in
front of her but it is wrong in some way.

I start to tell her about the dreams I have where I'm talking to Satan, and I tell her about how
normal he looks. I go on and on until I realize that she is a little bit weirded out that I dream about
the Devil. Then she starts to tell me about how when she dreams, she still has both of her lower
legs.

This makes me think about all of the blind and deaf people in the world. All of the people who are
born blind or born deaf. It makes me wonder what their dreams are like. I could only imagine.
Some of them can see but they can't hear, and some of then can hear but they can't see.

After a little while of her talking about her leg, I ask her how it happened if she didn't mind telling
me. She looks at me and tells me it was a tumor, and then starts laughing. Why is she laughing?
She's laughing because having cancer in your foot is such a stupid thing to have, let alone lose a
foot over. These are her words.