Page 16 - The Freckled Eye - Book

Chapter 4 A Voice Within

MAY 2016 –

The winter season was over and Jay and I were done at the magical snow
cabin in the mountains. I'd gone back to the Bay Area (San Ramon) where I
lived with my mom. We’d been living in an apartment for the last 2 years,
since I sold my house in San Jose, Ca in 2014..

I’d been wanting a new start in life. I wanted to find my passion, something
that filled by heart. For the last 26+ years I’d been in real estate and outside
sales. I’d been serving others for a very long time, which had really zapped
my soul. I had lived in the Bay Area all my life and it was time for me to make
a change. Something inside me kept telling me, I needed to sell my home, I’d
loved for 14 years. It was a voice that wouldn’t go away, it kept pushing me to
make a huge change.

I’d been struggling with this for some time. My mom lived with me, our lives
were perfect for the most part. We had wonderful neighbors and a life that
was comfortable... but to keep this life, I felt I'd be stuck in the only industry I
knew, which was tearing me apart inside. I couldn’t do it anymore. But how
was I going to make the change? Where would we go? All I knew was I
couldn’t do "it" anymore and the voice inside wouldn’t go away. It kept
pushing me... to the point I had to face my fears, I had to listen.

Finally, I talked with my mom, I cried breaking down hysterically. I felt so
bad. I didn’t want to uproot her and her happy life, but I just couldn’t
stay. The only thing I could do, financially, was to sell my house. Mom was
so wonderful and supportive as she was with everything in my life. She was
behind me, as I knew she would be. But I felt so terrible and guilty, all self-
induced.

We made the decision to sell my house, which sold. It was time to move. I’d
never been away from the Bay Area, everything I knew was there. I was
having a really hard time and was worried about mom. I knew she wanted to
be near my brother, which was in San Ramon, to help him with work. My
niece and nephew were there too, so having the family close would be
good. Mom and I decided to move near my brother and his family. Then we’d
figure out my next step.