Page 29 - The Bridge Vol 17_pgs
P. 29

VOLume 17



               breathing, living, laughing, just letting everything   “You remember what I told you the other day?”
               collapse around me. When I met her, I realized  she whispers with cracked lips, worn from her
               that some things aren’t worth giving up on. Her  vicious biting. I nod my assent. “I think I might be
               smile restores my breath while her eyes steal it  straight after all,” she murmurs, a hesitant smile,
               away again. She hates her teeth, but I love her  no teeth. I nod and smile back, my cheeks feeling
               genuine smile so much. She ducks her head down  strained from the force it takes to keep it there.
               in embarrassment, and I tease her again just to see  She turns on her back, and I’m frozen on my side,
               that smile stretch across her face.          forcing myself to remain neutral.
                   The moment she tells me she might be gay    I desperately want to sleep, desperately want to
               my heart stutters. I came out to her a long time  breathe. In this moment, I’ve never wanted to give
               ago, comfortable enough in my sexuality, but not  up more. I feel the tease of sunshine lighting up my
               comfortable enough with the implications.    darkened world, but I will never get to taste it.
                   She asks to sleepover, and it takes the whole
               day to calm my racing heart. This isn’t the first
               time we will have an overnight adventure, but the
               last time was when she was assuredly straight.
                   I should’ve known I can’t resist her. With my
               shaky hand, I sweep muted pink eyeshadow onto
               her trembling eyelids. When I move on to her lips,
               my eyes focus on outlining her cupid’s bow. Her
               eyes continue to stay closed, eyelashes fluttering
               uncertainty against her cheeks. I want to kiss her,
               I think I am supposed to kiss her. Her eyes finally
               flutter open.
                   “Almost done there?” she questions a little
               breathlessly. I haven’t even started.
                   Anticipation is  drumming a steady  beat in
               my chest and I swear I hear the same bass in hers.
               I lick my lips and watch as her coal-colored eyes       “ I came out to her a long time ago,
               follow the movement. I think I am supposed to kiss
               her. She suddenly shuffles backward on the bed,       comfortable enough in my sexuality,
               scrambling away from my closeness like a crab.           but not comfortable enough with
                   She takes a makeup wipe from my stash and                                  ”
               starts quickly undoing the work I’ve just done.                 the implications.
               She forces out a yawn and a “Can we sleep please?”
                   Tucked in bed, both of us on our backs. My
               eyes refuse to droop, nerves making my body
               vibrate. I trace colors on her ceiling. I turn to face
               her, and she soon follows. We stare at each other,
               wide eyes trying to read each other. She doesn’t
               seem tired anymore.




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