Page 34 - The Bridge Vol 17_pgs

The Bridge

No Such Thing As Normal

Meg Bonney
creative nonfiction

My period came when I was in seventh “That’s normal for virgins,” he said as he
grade. It was excruciating to bear, with horrific wrapped his hand around my throat and pushed
cramping, and a flow that would leak through a me down, becoming even more forceful.
tampon, or even a pad within a single class period. I bled for three days; I bled after the next
I dreaded attending school during the weeks I dozen or so times. Each time it hurt but I dealt
was menstruating. I woke up every morning of my with it—after all, it was normal.
period with awful morning sickness; I had to start By the following year, the pain associated with
waking up earlier to ensure that my puking or dry- sex had essentially vanished, but I still had to use
heaving wouldn’t cause me to be late once again. two tampons at a time while menstruating. Being a
Eventually my mom determined that it could be swimmer, I would go through nearly a whole box
beneficial if I started birth control. of 36 tampons in the span of a week. My mom
Birth control reduced my flow to a minimum, questioned why I would go through so many, asking
but the leaking tampons prevailed. I cried in the if something else had developed since the last time
farthest back stall of my middle school’s second we touched base regarding my unruly menstrual
floor women’s room after the first time I bled cycle. I lied and began to buy extra boxes on my
through my jeans after going on birth control, own, hiding them under my bed. I began to wonder
distraught that something my gynecologist had a bit more seriously if something was actually
reassured me would help my condition hadn’t done wrong with my body. In an action all too common
what it was anticipated to do. Highly embarrassed for people my age, I attempted to self-diagnose
by the possibility that anything could be wrong with through WebMD. The possible results—cancer,
me, I didn’t tell my mom or my gynecologist that ovarian cysts, fibroids—scared the hell out of me.
it was still happening, and after a successful trial Then another possibility appeared on my computer
run, I realized that using two tampons—something screen: uterine didelphys.
strongly discouraged—stopped the leaking. I kept Uterine didelphys is a birth disorder resulting
this dangerous charade going for six years. from the malformation of the Mullerian ducts,
During the summer leading into my junior which fuse together in utero to become a woman’s
year of high school, I lost my virginity to my reproductive system. With uterine didelphys,
first boyfriend, Alex. It was agonizingly painful. the ducts don’t join completely, causing what
Holding back tears, I told him it hurt, and asked is essentially a duplication of the reproductive
him to stop or even to just be gentler. system. As the malformation can occur at any

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