Page 36 - SARSOZA_GISSELA_WRITINGII_E-portfolio

 Be sure to group your evidence according to their commonalities (which pieces
make sense together?). These commonalities should fall under the topics presented
in your thesis statement.
 Each body paragraph should tackle only ONE key idea (your thesis should have
TWO key ideas).
 Support each key idea with relevant facts and evidence. Avoid repeating
facts/evidence in different paragraphs, as it will make your essay look as though it
was not carefully planned.
 Use the acronym PEEL to ensure your body paragraphs have everything they need.
 Point: make your point (topic sentence directly related to key idea in thesis)
 Evidence: support your point with evidence and examples
 Explain: explain how the evidence supports your point
 Link: link this point to the next point (for the last body paragraph, conclude
the paragraph)

Introductory Paragraph

Hook: Downing a Monster or Red Bull energy drink brings a welcomed buzz to many teens
but the harmful long-term consequences of these beverages are simply too numerous and
frightening to ignore.

Discussion of topic/Connection to text: Due to the health risks that accompany these drinks,
many communities, forum los Angeles to Chicago, have considered laws banning the sale of
energy drinks to people under age 18 (“L.A. May Become”).

Thesis Statement: Such laws are wise and should be approved throughout the nation because
these products bring far more harm than good to teen consumers.

Body Paragraph 1

Point (topic sentence): These cans of chemicals are slowly poisoning our youth.

Evidence: A recent report by World Health Organization says the products are potentially “a
significant public health problem”, especially for youth.

Explanation: Teens generally weigh less than adults of similar height and their tolerance for
caffeine is much lower; these two factors create a magnification of caffeine`s effect on their
bodies.

Link (transition): In fact, take the case of, moreover, consider the case of

Evidence: Take the case of 14-year-old Anais Fournier, who died from a heart attack in
December 2011 after consuming two 24-ounce cans of Monster Energy.
Consider the case of Lanna Hamann, a 16-year-old girl who went into cardiac arrest in June
2014 after guzzling Red Bull energy drinks while on vacation in Mexico.

Explanation: Teens are so susceptible to the negative effects of large doses of caffeine,

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