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(3) For those that are true, signal to the people who gave you the feedback that you have
understood, think it was accurate, and will try to do something about it.
(4) For those that are not true, re-sort the comments into criticisms that are important to you and
those that are small and trivial or unimportant. Throw the unimportant ones away.
(5) With those that are probably not true but important, re-sort them into:
(6) Career threatening—if people above me really thought this was true about me, my career would
be damaged.
(7) Not career stopping. Throw the not-career-stopping pile away.
(8) With the remaining comments, review them with your boss and/or mentor to see what the
general opinion is about you.
(9) This leaves you with two categories: those that people do believe—even though they are not
true—and those they don’t. Throw the don’t-believe pile away.
(10) With the remaining pile, plot a strategy to convince people around you by deeds, not words, that
those criticisms are untrue of you.
6. Feeling overwhelmed? Think before you act. Feel like you’re constantly trying to change based on
comments from others? Head spinning? Not sure which way to go? Developing your self-awareness
means being open to feedback, but it can be exhausting, especially when it comes from various
directions. It’s a valuable source of information, so don’t waste it, but think carefully how you use it.
First, consider the source. Do you trust this person? Do you look up to them and value their opinion?
Do you need to work with them on a regular basis? Second, get to the behavior. If feedback is too
general, it is not helpful. Distill the comments down to the core behavior or message. What is it this
person is trying to tell you? Third, reflect. Is this consistent with what you’ve heard in the past? Does it
fit with what you know of yourself? Is it important? Even if it doesn’t seem to be true, is there
something here that needs attention? Fourth, decide. Do you want to do anything about it? You do
have a choice, but think it through. The feedback was given for a reason. Understand it before you
dismiss it. Decide to change? Make a plan. Decide to do nothing? Move on.
Want to learn more? Take a deep dive…
Robles, P. (2009, October 2). How do you handle feedback? Ecoconsultancy.com.
Smith, J. (2013, January 29). How negative feedback can help your career. Forbes.
Wright, K. (2011, March 15). How to take feedback. Psychology Today.
7. Come across as arrogant? Adopt some humility. Arrogance is a major blockage to self-
knowledge. Many people who have a towering strength or lots of success get little feedback and roll
along until their careers get in trouble. They’re so sure of themselves that often they’re caught off
guard. If you are viewed as arrogant, you may have to repeatedly ask for feedback, and when you get
it, there may be some anger with it. Almost by definition, arrogant people overrate themselves in the
eyes of others. Others who think you are arrogant might rate you lower than neutral observers. If you
devalue others, they will return the insult. When others give you feedback, look at it as an opportunity
to grow and develop. Feedback is a gift. If you don’t appear to be genuinely interested in what others
have to say to you, you risk cutting off the source. If their feedback falls on stony ground, why should
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