Page 55 - HaMizrachi Tisha B'Av AUS 2021

PARENTING GENERAL INTEREST

Rabbi Elisha Aviner

Dealing With

Anxiety

-d created fear for a purpose – to alone – we should speak them out to and crises of many kinds – but he was
motivate a person to act to save others. Sharing worries and concerns not afraid. He was willing to undergo
himself. On the other hand, with others brings relief and eases all the pain and disgrace associated
Gunhealthy anxiety is dangerous: anxiety. Through discussion, one can with Mashiach’s arrival.
“Do not introduce anxiety into your heart, organize and sift through thoughts
as anxiety has killed mighty men” (Ben Sira and emotions, bringing logic back into We were not asked whether we were
14:1). How can we help our children and the equation. afraid or not. G-d did not give us the
students, and ourselves, overcome fears choice to be born in these times. If
and anxieties? 4. Bitachon. Belief in G-d is not a magic G-d sent us to live in a generation
cure for anxiety. But it can help us preceding Mashiach’s arrival, there
1. Hishtadlut. Fear is caused by a feeling overcome our fears. Rav Kook explains is no doubt we have the necessary
of helplessness. Initiation and action that bitachon is not the belief every- emotional strength to deal with the
can help remove fear. It is mistaken thing will work out the way I want it difficulties and fears.
to believe that bitachon means pas- to. It’s a belief in the Divine kindness
siveness. On the contrary. We must with which G-d created the world and 6. Create a positive atmosphere. Chil-
do hishtadlut. Put in the effort. As long continues to run it. It’s a belief that dren are especially sensitive. If they
as the hishtadlut is logical, and does even if ‘bad’ things happen, there’s a live in a tense atmosphere, they will
not become excessive and hysterical, Master Plan behind it. become anxiety-prone. As parents, we
it does not contradict emunah. must ensure the home atmosphere is
5. Belief in ourselves. The times preced- calm, instilling confidence and peace
2. Rationality. Some fears stem from ing Mashiach will be wrought with within the children. If the parents give
exaggerated imagination. The cure for spiritual and physical turmoil. There a sense of hopelessness and despair
this is the light of reason and logic. A were Rabbis who feared living in the or lack of confidence in leaders and
dry analysis of the facts can signifi- times of Mashiach: “Let Mashiach teachers; if they constantly prophesize
cantly decrease anxiety. The media come, but after my death [as I fear a dark future and belittle the security
shows us harsh footage of disasters the suffering that will precede his forces, if they display anger and frus-
and tragedies, and the viewer may coming]” (Sanhedrin 98b). Meaning, tration, they fail to help their children
get the impression that these are the let the Mashiach come – but not in my overcome their fears.
norm in a country. Light overcomes lifetime. I’d rather give up seeing him
darkness, and understanding that than have to suffer. But Rav Yosef said 7. Seek help. If you feel you or your child
what the media portrays is only a the opposite: “Let the Mashiach come, are suffering from serious anxiety,
small fraction of reality can help us and I will be privileged to sit in the seek professional help.
overcome our fears. shadow of his donkey’s excrement!”
ְ
3. Discussion. הָּנ ֶח ׁשַי ׁשי ִא ב ֶל ְב ה ָג ָא ּ ְד – Anx- Rav Yosef announced that he was
iety in a person’s heart dejects him emotionally ready for the times before
(Mishlei 12:25). Chazal bring two Mashiach. He did not deceive himself Rabbi Elisha Aviner is the Head of Kollel
understandings of this verse: Either that everything would be rosy; he at Yeshivat Birkat Moshe, and founded
“he shall remove it [yesichena] from his knew very well that we would stum- an organization to help parents with
mind,” or “He shall tell it [yesichena] ble upon “excrement” – difficulties adolescent education.
to others” (Sanhedrin 100b). When
worries fill one’s heart and overcome
us to the point we cannot deal with
them, one should remove them from
one’s mind. For example, every time
a fearful thought enters our heads,
we should force ourselves to think
of something else or busy ourselves
with an alternative activity. Creat-
ing distractions. But when we feel
worries are weighing us down – or
when we feel we are carrying them

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