Page 57 - HaMizrachi Tisha B'Av AUS 2021

therefore highly flammable) grass. If a I went through many low points of my
mortar fell anywhere near us, we would own and searched for inspiration. “If I am
not have long to flee the flames. only for myself, what am I?” asks Hillel the
Sage. What makes my life more valuable
It is impossible to fully describe the fear
I felt during moments like these. I fre- than any other young man – the fact I was
quently thought of Dr. Paul Kalanithi’s born in a different country? Is Israel not
words in his memoir, When Breath Becomes mine as well? “And if not now,” continues
Air, when he discovered that his cancer Hillel, while I have the physical strength,
was terminal. Upon hearing his devastat- then “when?” Now is the time in my life
ing prognosis, Dr. Paul’s bright aspirations when I can sacrifice myself for the Jewish
turned into a depressing nihilism: “I saw people if need be.
instead only a blank, a harsh, a vacant, During those 11 days, I kept a diary. One of
gleaming white desert as if a sandstorm my entries read: “I am ducking my head
had erased all trace of familiarity.” As a straight into the ground, with my body
20-something-year-old post-college soldier laid out, praying that I won’t be blown up
on the border, I too dreamed about what or injured by a mortar or rocket. I yearn
lay ahead: a good job, a lovely wife, and a for the moment when I’m safe at home
welcoming community. But throughout and can give my family a big hug. I can’t
Shomer Hachomot, I was uncertain that any wait for the skies to be silent, for the
of these things would come about.
background sounds to be wind, rain, and
Amidst this difficult experience, I wit- the bristling of the leaves, as opposed to
nessed remarkable strength from my com- explosions and the whistling of rockets
manders and fellow soldiers. Throughout above our heads.” I am grateful that this
the war, my commanders maintained day has arrived.
order in the platoon and were available to
speak to us about anything. My fellow sol- The war has just ended, yet Tzahal is
happened, we would be ready in seconds. diers’ positive energy and endless tzchokim already preparing for the next one. But
In the shetach we didn’t have bomb shelters (joking around) allowed us to forget where I have faith that better times are ahead.
to protect us. All we could do was lay down we were and lighten the mood somewhat. Bret Stephens, the Pulitzer Prize-winning
and pray that the mortar wouldn’t fall on That said, the situation was a living hell. journalist, recently wrote in an op-ed in
us. I watched my samal – chief sergeant All we wanted to do was return to our the New York Times: “Last year’s Abraham
– a brawny, black-haired, uber-confident homes and normal lives, far away from Accords brought the overarching Arab-Is-
22-year old, look so powerless with his the deafening booms and blood of war. raeli conflict to a near conclusion, even
head sunk in the dirt throughout the nev- if the Israeli-Palestinian conflict remains
er-ending sirens. My friend from Ashkelon told me that his unsolved.” Israel has finally made peace
mother and girlfriend were waiting for with some of its greatest adversaries. We
In the middle of our hang-out, a siren him; he didn’t want to fight. He reminisced must remain hopeful, for seeping into
went off. We heard a high-pitched whis- about their camping trips in the North and despair accomplishes nothing. We must
tling noise. We had become familiar with showed me pictures on his Instagram –
that sound: a mortar soaring above us. A “Isn’t my girlfriend perfect?” he asked me. do everything we can to bring about the
words of the prophet Yirmiyahu: “For I
moment later, the field about 150 meters All he wanted was to return home, away am mindful of the plans I have made con-
behind us burst into flames. Wondering from the madness. But I tried reminding
how the fire spread so rapidly, I examined him: Someone needs to do it; someone needs cerning you – declares G-d – plans for your
peace, not for disaster” (22:19).
the terrain beneath us and noticed that to stand at the front lines when the enemy
it consisted primarily of dried-up (and is approaching. May that day come very soon. ■

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