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The Red Well-Read Reader

Story 163

Captain Quinn

“Captain Quinn,” who lives in a trash bin, says, "I love this cozy inn. It's a great

place to collect bottles and tin, to fall asleep listening to the traffic din, and to

have bugs crawl all over my skin – from my shin to my chin. And eating

but rats keeps me thin.

"Because I've given away my wealth to my kith and kin, now and then I must bum a

fin to buy some gin.

"However, this is be no sin and puts on my face a great big grin !"

Story 164

Quince

When a blintz was served to Prince Vince he shouted, "Nay,

bring me pie and make it mince . . . without the meat ! "

The chef ad•mit•ted he never heard of mince without the meat, so he

served him an ex•o•tic pie called quince. But one bite made the prince wince.

"Water," he yelled, "my mouth needs a rinse !"

Con•se•quent•ly, quince has never since been served to the

fin•ick•y prince.

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