Page 104 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

All seems normal with Magda and Jeremy so maybe it was just a business
meeting. Maybe the Zen and Flow notion is correct, for there is no doubt that by
relaxing and going with the vibes I have done the right thing. Am invited to a
glittering literati launch of Kafka's Motorbike next week at the Ivy. Determined,

instead of fearing the scary party, panicking all the way through and going home
pissed and depressed, am going to improve social skills, confidence and Make
Parties Work for Me - as guided by article have just read in magazine.

Apparently, Tina Brown of The New Yorker is brilliant at dealing with parties,
gliding prettily from group to group, saying, 'Martin Aims! Nelson Mandela!
Richard Gere!' in a tone which at once suggests, 'My God, I have never been
more enchanted to see anyone in my entire life! Have you met the most dazzling
person at the party apart from you? Talk! Talk! Must network! Byeee!' Wish to

be like Tina Brown, though not, obviously, quite so hardworking.

The article is full of useful tips. One should never, apparently, talk to anyone
at a party for more than two minutes. When time is up, you simply say, 'I think

we're expected to circulate. Nice to meet you,' and go off. If you get lost for
words after asking someone what they do to which they reply 'Undertaker' or 'I
work for the Child Support Agency,' you must simply ask, 'Do you enjoy that?'
When introducing people add a thoughtful detail or two about each person so
that their interlocutor has a conversational kicking-off point. E.g., 'This is John -
he's from New Zealand and enjoys windsurfing.' Or, 'Gina is a keen skydiver and
lives on a barge.'

Most importantly, one must never go to a party without a clear objective:
`whether it be to 'network,' thereby adding to your spread of contacts to improve

your career, to make friends with someone specific; or simply 'clinch' a top deal.
Understand where have been going wrong by going to parties armed only with
objective of not getting too pissed.