Page 101 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

10 a.m. Try to find handbag. Handbag has vanished. Decide to see if anything

nice has come in the mail.

10.07 a.m. Access letter only, about non-payment of minimum payment, Try
to remember what was looking for. Restart quest for handbag.

10.15 a.m. Beyond lateness now. Suddenly remember had handbag in
bedroom when looking for hairbrush but cannot find. Eventually locate

under clothes from wardrobe. Return clothes to wardrobe. Put on jacket.
Prepare to leave house. Cannot find keys. Scour house in rage.

10.25 a.m. Find keys in handbag. Realize have forgotten hairbrush.

10.35 a.m. Leave house.

Three hours and thirty-five minutes between waking and leaving house is too

long. In future must get straight up when wake and reform entire laundry system.
Open up paper to read that convicted murderer in America is convinced the
authorities have planted a microchip in his buttocks to monitor his movements,
so to speak. Horrified by thought of similar microchip being in own buttocks,
particularly in the mornings.

Wednesday 5 April

8st 13, alcohol units 5 (Jude's fault), cigarettes 2 (sort of thing that could happen

to anyone - does not mean have started smoking again), calories 1765, Instants