Page 245 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

8st 13. (bad), chocolate items 4 (bad), number of times watched video 17 (bad).

11 a.m. In loo at work. Oh no. Oh no. On top of humiliating standing-up
debacle, found self horrible center of attention at morning meeting today.

'Right, Bridget,' said Richard Finch. 'I'm going to give you another chance.
The Isabella Rossellini trial. Verdict expected today. We think she's going to get

off. Get yourself down to the High Court. I don't want to see you climbing up
any poles or lampposts. I want a hardheaded interview. Ask her if this means it's
OK for us all to murder people every time we don't fancy having sex with them.
What are you waiting for, Bridget? Off you go.'

I had no idea, not even a glimmer of a clue as to what he was talking about.
'You have noticed the Isabella Rossellini trial, haven't you?' said Richard. 'You
do read the papers, occasionally?'

The trouble with this job is that people keep flinging names and stories at you
and you have a split second to decide whether or not to admit you have no idea
what they're talking about, and if you let the moment go then you'll spend the
next half hour desperately flailing for clues to what it is you are discussing in

depth and at length with a confident air: which is precisely what happened with
Isabella Rossellini.

And now I must set off to meet scary camera crew at the law courts in five
minutes to cover and report on a story on the television without having the

faintest idea what it is about.

11:05 a.m. Thank God for Patchouli. Just came out of the toilet and she was
being pulled along by Richard's dogs straining at the leash.