Page 251 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

'Anyway, we're not lonely. We have extended families in the form of

networks of friends connected by telephone,' said Tom.

'Yes! Hurrah! Singletons should not have to explain themselves all the time
but should have an accepted status - like geisha girls do,' I shouted happily,
slurping on my tumbler 0f Chilean Chardonnay.

'Geisha girls?' said Sharon. looking at me coldly.

'Shut up, Bridge,' slurred Tom. 'You're drunk. You're just trying to escape
from your yawning emotional hole into drunk.'

'Well, so's bloody well Shazzer,' I said sulkily.

'I's not,' said Sharon. 'You's blurr are,' I said.

'Look. Shuddup,' said Jude, burping again. 'Shagernothebol Chardonnay?'

Friday 13 October

9st 3 (but have temporarily turned into wine bag), alcohol units 0 (but feeding
off wine bag), calories 0 (v.g.).*

*Actually might as well be honest here. Not really v.g. as only 0 because puked
up 5876 calories immediately after eating.