Page 257 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

problem,' he said, flouncing back to the mirror. 'Sometimes I think I'd stand

more chance trying to win with a really confident dog.'

Eventually we agreed that though the global warming theme in itself was
faultless, the polystyrene sphere was not, perhaps, the most flattering shape for
evening wear. In fact in the end we found we were thinking more toward a fluid

sheath of shot-silk-effect Yves Klein blue, floating over smoke and earth shades
to symbolize the melting of the polar ice caps.

Deciding I wasn't going to get the best out of Tom over Mark Darcy just at the
moment, I excused myself before it got too late, promising to think hard about
Swim and Daywear. When I got back I called Jude but she started telling me
about a marvelous new oriental idea in this month's Cosmopolitan called Feng
Shui, which helps you get everything you want in life. All you have to do,
apparently, is clean out all the cupboards in your flat to unblock yourself, then

divide the flat up into nine sections (which is called mapping the ba-gua), each
of which represents a different area of your life: career, family, relationships,
wealth, or offspring, for example. Whatever you have in that area of your house
will govern how that area of your life performs. For example, if you keep finding
you have no money it could be due to the presence of a wastepaper basket in
your Wealth Comer.

V. excited by new theory as could explain a lot. Resolve to buy Cosmo at
earliest opportunity. Jude says not to tell Sharon as, naturally, she thinks Feng
Shui is bollocks. Managed, eventually, to bring conversation round to Mark
Darcy.

'Of course you don't fancy him, Bridge, the thought never crossed my mind
for a second,' said Jude. She said the answer was obvious: I should have a dinner

party and invite him.

'It's perfect,' she said. 'It's not like asking him for a date, so it takes away all
the pressure and you can show off like mad and get all your friends to pretend to

think you're marvelous.'

'Jude,' I said, hurt, 'did you say, 'pretend'?'