Page 6 - hojas sueltas flip_Neat

Then came the time. It was one early morning, around four at home.
I was surprised in the dining room, trembling and a nervous wreck,
looking for the bottle to have a drinkA drink that my body demanded!
I served myself! ...and I drank it! Immediately something came to
me that I call ‘chance’ but that I now call GOD. It was a moment of
clarity, like a ray of mental clarity, which allowed me to recognize that
this was not normal. It was not normal for a man like me who, since
childhood had been a toeless defender of freedom, was now seen as
a slave of a bottle of mm. I realized that something was wrong with
my relationship with the bottle, and I decided to put my willpower
into play just like a gambler has an ace up his sleeve, which emerges
to sabe the situation with a swift whisk. Just as the coach of a football
team believes in his star player sitting on the bench awaiting directions
to enter the game for the win.

I left early in the morning with the flag and the theme song of my
‘willpower’, singing the chorus: «A bottle take over me?» ... Me? ...
bah.. That’s what I have my willpower for. It’s over! ... I no longer
drink anymore. I’ll never drink in my life again!
I had walked four blocks when I saw one of the pubs I used to frequent
but I didn’t renounce any firm resolution to NO LONGER DRINK.
I simply made a minor amendment to my resolution and said «I’m
gonna have a drink...just for my nerves...and that’ll be it...» And I
downed it!

Only God and I know what I suffered in the eight months following
that drink «for my nerves». Upon seeing myself powerless to fight
against the alcohol I lost all source of faith, ambition, hope ... and I
kept drinking because I couldn’t stop; considering myself the most
unhappy, the most corrupted and the most degenerate of all man;
with a fear of everything and nothing, and using the slow way of
suicide that those without the courage to slash their own wrists or
shoot themselves turn to.

And I arrived to the precursor of an asylum...withdrawals!

Everything had failed medicine, religion, my mother’s suffering, my
wife’s tears, my kids’ blank stares, my friends’ advice, my bosses’
warnings, and my much hyped willpower.
I was defeated _. Unexpectedly defeated... and powerless in defeat ...
I knew some men and women who conjured up their faith, their