Page 334 - Ray Dalio - Principles

maker’s boss or an agreed-upon, knowledgeable group of
others, generally people more knowledgeable than and senior
to the decision maker.

e. Recognize that getting in sync is a two-way responsibility. In any
conversation, there is a responsibility to express and a

responsibility to listen. Misinterpretations and
misunderstandings are always going to happen. Often,
difficulty in communication is due to people having different
ways of thinking (e.g., left-brained thinkers talking to right-
brained thinkers). The parties involved should always consider
the possibility that one or both of them misunderstood and do a

back-and-forth so that they can get in sync. Very simple tricks
—like repeating what you’re hearing someone say to make sure
you’re actually getting it—can be invaluable. Start by assuming
you’re either not communicating or listening well instead of
blaming the other party. Learn from your miscommunications
so they don’t happen again.

f. Worry more about substance than style. This is not to say that some
styles aren’t more effective than others with different people

and in different circumstances, but I often hear people
complaining about the style or tone of a criticism in order to
deflect from its substance. If you think someone’s style is an
issue, box it as a separate issue to get in sync on.

g. Be reasonable and expect others to be reasonable. You have a
responsibility to be reasonable and considerate when you are
advocating for your point of view and should never let your
“lower-level you” gain control, even if the other person loses

his or her temper. Their bad behavior doesn’t justify yours.
If either party to a disagreement is too emotional to be

logical, the conversation should be deferred. Pausing a few
hours or even a few days in cases where decisions do not have
to be made immediately is sometimes the best approach.

h. Making suggestions and questioning are not the same as criticizing, so don’t
treat them as if they are. A person making suggestions may not have
concluded that a mistake will be made—they could just be
making doubly sure that the person they’re talking to has taken
all the risks into consideration. Asking questions to make sure

that someone hasn’t overlooked something isn’t the same thing