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FESTSCHRIFT | 85

            Now, a normal kid would have enjoyed his protected status by sitting quietly, while his
            friends were forced to endure the nightly savagery. But not Dani. Instead, Dani basked
            in his sheltered position to unleash his sharp wit and infamous one-liners at the vio-
            lent upper classmen.  But then one day, Mark was absent from the bus, and the barbar-
            ians would have their revenge.  I still recall the feeling of helplessness as I watched my
            friend dangle from his underwear on a hook at the back of the bus.  Oh, the humanity!


            In MTA, Dani and I cut a lot of classes together. A lot of classes. Unlike me, however,
            Dani did it with style. Somehow, he pulled off having an actual job at the Washing-
            ton Heights branch of Carvel.  Not after school, as one may reasonably assume.  That
            would have been normal.  But this was Dani.  Dani had an “after school” job … during

            school hours.  One might wonder if perhaps this feat foreshadowed Dani’s future posi-
            tion as the rav of a synagogue in Denver … while living in New York.


            One time, some of us planned to cut all our classes and spend a day in Manhattan, ex-
            ploring the city, lunching on pizza, and visiting the Museum of Broadcasting.  Our be-
            loved friend, Mitchell Gross A’H, was very apprehensive about the plan, lest he bump
            into his father.  But relying on Dani who assured Mitchell that “there must be one
            billion people in the city, and the probability that you bump into your father is statisti-
            cally zero!”, Mitchell came along.  No one ever questioned Dani’s arithmetic abilities
            when we were copying his Math homework, so why start now?


            While we were browsing in an electronics store, you can guess who we noticed two
            aisles over.  Poor Mitchell’s retreat from that store was reminiscent of the cartoon char-
            acter Road Runner taking off down the road. I’m pretty sure that Mitchell left a cloud
            of dust in his wake.  After Mitchell’s narrow escape, I saw two people on the ground.
            A woman outside the store who Mitchell knocked over during his escape, and Dani,

            who was on the ground laughing hysterically.


              יתעגי .ןמאת לא יתאצמו יתעגי אל .ול ןמאת לא יתאצמ אלו יתעגי םדא ךל רמאי םא :קחצי ‘ר רמאו
                                          הרות ירבדב ילימ ינה  .ןמאת יתאצמו יתעגי .ןמאת לא יתאצמו


            And R’ Yitzchok said: If someone tells you, “I labored in the study of Torah, but did

            not succeed”, do not believe him.  If he tells you, “I have not labored, yet I have suc-
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