Page 152 - harryDEC12_clean.iba

When all this got out of hand, we dropped the habit of taking our wives along, for the sake of our business relationships. No surprise really - Martha fiercely attacked me over that, said I was discriminating against her, I could not assert myself against my partners, and anyway our meetings were only a put-up job so I and my friends in London could go about taking our pleasures and satisfying our lust undisturbed. What a crazy perception and arrogant statement for a person, who benefitted in an excessive manner from my dealings in London.
One more time I made an exception to this: I took her on a business trip to Munich, to visit an agency with the imaginative name Versicherungskontor Munich, with which I had begun to build a promising business relationship. Another grave mistake with consequences as it should turn out later. While I was talking with the owner, Martha stayed next door, at the deputy's room - a certain Herr von Papen from memory - yes Papen, like the last chancellor of the Weimar Republic, before Hitler came to Power. I heard frequent laughter and the farewell between the two is over duly heartily. A situation, which I should remember years later in a different context - also under different circumstances as the reader might suspect. The attempt to build up a social life had utterly failed and I was left to patch up the relationships.
Martha observed all the commandments that are their very own for Lucifer’s daughters: they wallow in filth, they fuck you to give you feelings of guilt, to penetrate into your innermost secrets, discover your fetishes, just to gain thereby a lever for controlling you're being. So it happened that every time I returned depleted from a business trip that I was assailed with the most fierce reproaches and accusations. Often our reunion ended in physical conflicts, and again and again I saw her glance full of hatred that I grew familiar with. When I was en route she overwhelmed me several times a day with telephone calls, particularly in the evening - to check up on me, constantly on the search for material for accusations. I hated these calls they wore me out. Then she pretended she had pain in the abdomen. She laid in bed for days and constantly demanded attention, just allowing me enough time to go to work. When I told her I have to go away to see business associates she accused me of a cavalier attitude, and collapsed in outbreaks of weeping. A drama of the first order, masterfully displayed. This was a horrific experience for any man and I wondered, what monster I had become to cause such a reaction More and more I cancelled one appointment after another. When she allegedly felt better she insisted in participating in business meals, but while I was changing clothes for the evening she would say that she did not feel disposed after all to go, and I could go alone.
So I showed up alone while my business associates were waiting with their wives for us and I was forced to think up ever-new apologies that were becoming increasingly embarrassing in their implausibility.
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