Page 170 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

realized it.”
“She’s right,” Pete said. “I was so insecure in my own
sense of self-worth that it took forever for me to be willing to
identify and acknowledge that her lack of touch had caused
me to withdraw. I never told her that I wanted to be touched,
although I was crying inside for her to reach out and touch
me. In our dating relationship, I had always taken the
initiative in hugging, kissing, and holding hands, but she
had always been responsive. I felt that she loved me, but
after we got married, there were times that I reached out to
her physically and she was not responsive. Maybe with her
new job responsibilities she was too tired. I don’t know, but
I took it personally. I felt that she didn’t find me attractive.
Then I decided I would not take the initiative because I
didn’t want to be rejected. So I waited to see how long it
would be before she’d initiate a kiss or a touch or sexual
intercourse. Once I waited for six weeks before she
touched me at all. I found it unbearable. My withdrawal was
to stay away from the pain I felt when I was with her. I felt
rejected, unwanted, and unloved.”
Then Patsy said, “I had no idea that that was what he
was feeling. I knew that he was not reaching out to me. We
were not kissing and hugging as we had done earlier, but I
just assumed that since we were married, that was not as
important to him now. I knew that he was under pressure
with his job. I had no idea that he wanted me to take the
initiative.
“He’s right. I would go weeks without touching him. It