Page 196 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

I told Brent on the phone, “As you know, Becky came to see
me and told me about her struggle with what is happening
in the marriage. I want to help her, but in order to do so, I
need to know what you are thinking.”
He agreed without hesitation, and now he sat in my
office. His outward appearance was in stark contrast to
Becky’s. She had been weeping uncontrollably, but he was
stoic. I had the impression, however, that his weeping had
taken place weeks or perhaps months ago and that it had
been an inward weeping. The story Brent told confirmed my
hunch.
“I just don’t love her anymore,” he said. “I haven’t loved
her for a long time. I don’t want to hurt her, but we are not
close. Our relationship has become empty. I don’t enjoy
being with her anymore. I don’t know what happened. I wish
it were different, but I don’t have any feelings for her.”
Brent was thinking and feeling what hundreds of
thousands of husbands have thought and felt through the
years. It’s the “I don’t love her anymore” mind-set that gives
men the emotional freedom to seek love with someone
else. The same is true for wives who use the same excuse.

I sympathized with Brent, for I have been there. Thousands
of husbands and wives have been there—emotionally
empty, wanting to do the right thing, not wanting to hurt
anyone, but being pushed by their emotional needs to seek