Page 38 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

when you are in love.
We have been led to believe that if we are really in
love, it will last forever. We will always have the wonderful
feelings that we have at this moment. Nothing could ever
come between us. Nothing will ever overcome our love for
each other. We are enamored and caught up in the beauty
and charm of the other’s personality. Our love is the most
wonderful thing we have ever experienced. We observe
that some married couples seem to have lost that feeling,
but it will never happen to us. “Maybe they did not have the
real thing,” we reason.

Unfortunately, the eternality of the “in love” experience is
fiction, not fact. Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist, has
done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After
studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average
life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is a
secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually,
however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet
on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts
of the other person. We recognize that some of his/her
personality traits are actually irritating. Her behavior
patterns are annoying. He has the capacity for hurt and
anger, perhaps even harsh words and critical judgments.
Those little traits that we overlooked when we were in love
now become huge mountains. We remember Mother’s