Page 67 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

house, the recreational vehicle, and all the other things if
you don’t ever get to enjoy them together?”
With that information, I decided to focus my advice by
making only one suggestion to each of them. I told Bill and
Betty Jo separately that each one held the key to changing
the emotional climate of the marriage. “That key,” I said, “is
to express verbal appreciation for the things you like about
the other person and, for the moment, suspending your
complaints about the things you do not like.” We reviewed
the positive comments they had already made about each
other and helped each of them write a list of those positive
traits. Bill’s list focused on Betty Jo’s activities as a mother,
housekeeper, and cook. Betty Jo’s list focused on Bill’s
hard work and financial provision of the family. We made
the lists as specific as possible. Betty Jo’s list looked like
this:

He hasn’t missed a day of work in twelve years.
He is aggressive in his work.
He has received several promotions through the
years. He is always thinking of ways to improve
his productivity.

He makes the house payment each month.
He also pays the electrical bill, the gas bill, the
water bill.