Page 70 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

marriage, then they could write it off as another failed
attempt.
The next day, I got on the plane and returned home. I
made a note to call Bill and Betty Jo two months later to
see what had happened. When I called them in mid-
summer, I asked to speak to each of them individually. I
was amazed to find that Bill’s attitude had taken a giant
step forward. He had guessed that I had given Betty Jo the
same advice I had given him, but that was all right. He loved
it. She was expressing appreciation for his hard work and
his provision for the family. “She has actually made me feel
like a man again. We’ve got a ways to go, Dr. Chapman,
but I really believe we are on the road.”
When I talked to Betty Jo, however, I found that she
had only taken a baby step forward. She said, “It has
improved some, Dr. Chapman. Bill is giving me verbal
compliments as you suggested, and I guess he is sincere.
But, Dr. Chapman, he’s still not spending any time with me.
He is still so busy at work that we never have time
together.”
As I listened to Betty Jo, the lights came on. I knew that
I had made a significant discovery. The love language of
one person is not necessarily the love language of another.
It was obvious that Bill’s primary love language was Words
of Affirmation. He was a hard worker, and he enjoyed his
work, but what he wanted most from his wife was
expressions of appreciation for his work. That pattern was
probably set in childhood, and the need for verbal