Page 66 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

after the wedding day, they wondered why they had married
in the first place. They seemed to disagree on everything.
The only thing they really agreed on was that they both
loved the children. As the story unraveled, my observation
was that Bill was a workaholic who had little time left over
for Betty Jo. Betty Jo worked part-time, mainly to get out of
the house. Their method of coping was withdrawal. They
tried to put distance between themselves so that their
conflicts would not seem as large. But the gauge on both
love tanks read “empty.”
They told me that they had been going for marriage
counseling but didn’t seem to be making much progress.
They were attending my marriage seminar, and I was
leaving town the next day. This would likely be my only
encounter with Bill and Betty Jo. I decided to put all my
eggs in one basket.
I spent an hour with each of them separately. I listened
intently to both stories. I discovered that in spite of the
emptiness of their relationship and their many
disagreements, they appreciated certain things about each
other. Bill acknowledged, “She is a good mother. She also
is a good housekeeper and an excellent cook when she
chooses to cook. But,” he continued, “there is simply no
affection coming from her. I work my butt off and there is
simply no appreciation.” In my conversation with Betty Jo,
she agreed that Bill was an excellent provider. “But,” she
complained, “he does nothing around the house to help me,
and he never has time for me. What’s the use of having the