Page 61 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the
hurt it may have caused my spouse. When I have been
wronged by my spouse and she has painfully confessed it
and requested forgiveness, I have the option of justice or
forgiveness. If I choose justice and seek to pay her back or
make her pay for her wrongdoing, I am making myself the
judge and her the felon. Intimacy becomes impossible. If,
however, I choose to forgive, intimacy can be restored.
Forgiveness is the way of love.

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new
day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the
failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a
potentially wonderful day. “I can’t believe you did it. I don’t
think I’ll ever forget it. You can’t possibly know how much
you hurt me. I don’t know how you can sit there so smugly
after you treated me that way. You ought to be crawling on
your knees, begging me for forgiveness. I don’t know if I
can ever forgive you.” Those are not the words of love but of
bitterness and resentment and revenge.

If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to
know each other’s desires. If we wish to love each other, we
need to know what the other person wants.