Page 58 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

is important to our spouse.

If, however, your spouse says, “I think I would like to
enroll in a weight-loss program this fall,” then you have
opportunity to give words of encouragement. Encouraging
words would sound like this. “If you decide to do that, I can
tell you one thing. You will be a success. That’s one of the
things I like about you. When you set your mind to
something, you do it. If that’s what you want to do, I will
certainly do everything I can to help you. And don’t worry
about the cost of the program. If it’s what you want to do,
we’ll find the money.” Such words may give your spouse the
courage to phone the weight-loss center.
Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the
world from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn
what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give
encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying
to communicate, “I know. I care. I am with you. How can I
help?” We are trying to show that we believe in him and in
his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.
Most of us have more potential than we will ever
develop. What holds us back is often courage. A loving
spouse can supply that all-important catalyst. Of course,
encouraging words may be difficult for you to speak. It may
not be your primary love language. It may take great effort
for you to learn this second language. That will be
especially true if you have a pattern of critical and