Page 57 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

excellent writer, but it took the encouraging words from her
husband to inspire her to take the first step in the arduous
process of getting an article published.

Perhaps your spouse has untapped potential in one or
more areas of life. That potential may be awaiting your
encouraging words. Perhaps she needs to enroll in a
course to develop that potential. Maybe he needs to meet
some people who have succeeded in that area, who can
give him insight on the next step he needs to take. Your
words may give your spouse the courage necessary to take
that first step.
Please note that I am not talking about pressuring your
spouse to do something that you want. I am talking about
encouraging him to develop an interest that he already has.
For example, some husbands pressure their wives to lose
weight. The husband says, “I am encouraging her,” but to
the wife it sounds like condemnation. Only when a person
wants to lose weight can you give her encouragement. Until
she has the desire, your words will fall into the category of
preaching. Such words seldom encourage. They are
almost always heard as words of judgment, designed to
stimulate guilt. They express not love but rejection.

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world
from your spouse’s perspective. We must first learn what