Page 80 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

“You are right,” I said, “and I think I know why. The
problem is that I suggested the wrong love language.” Bill
hadn’t the foggiest idea what I meant. I explained that what
makes one person feel loved emotionally is not always the
thing that makes another person feel loved emotionally.
He agreed that his language was words of affirmation.
He told me how much that had meant to him as a boy and
how good he felt when Betty Jo expressed appreciation for
the things he did. I explained that Betty Jo’s language was
not words of affirmation but quality time. I explained the
concept of giving someone your undivided attention, not
talking to her while you read the newspaper or watch
television but looking into her eyes, giving her your full
attention, doing something with her that she enjoys doing
and doing it wholeheartedly. “Like going to the symphony
with her,” he said. I could tell the lights were coming on in
Little Rock.
“Dr. Chapman, that is what she has always
complained about. I didn’t do things with her, I didn’t spend
any time with her. ‘We used to go places and do things
before we were married,’ she said, ‘but now, you’re too
busy.’ That’s her love language all right; no question about
it. But, Dr. Chapman, what am I gonna do? My job is so
demanding.”
“Tell me about it,” I said.
For the next ten minutes, he gave me the history of his
climb up the organizational ladder, of how hard he had
worked, and how proud he was of his accomplishments. He