Page 81 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

told me of his dreams for the future and that he knew that
within the next five years, he would be where he wanted to
be.
“Do you want to be there alone, or do you want to be
there with Betty Jo and the children?” I asked.
“I want her to be with me, Dr. Chapman. I want her to
enjoy it with me. That’s why it always hurts so much when
she criticizes me for spending time on the job. I am doing it
for us. I wanted her to be a part of it, but she is always so
negative.”
“Are you beginning to see why she was so negative,
Bill?” I asked. “Her love language is quality time. You have
given her so little time that her love tank is empty. She
doesn’t feel secure in your love. Therefore she has lashed
out at what was taking your time in her mind—your job. She
doesn’t really hate your job. She hates the fact that she
feels so little love coming from you. There’s only one
answer, Bill, and it’s costly. You have to make time for Betty
Jo. You have to love her in the right love language.”
“I know you are right, Dr. Chapman. Where do I
begin?”
“Do you have your legal pad handy? The one on which
we made the list of the positive things about Betty Jo?”
“It’s right here.”
“Good. We’re going to make another list. What are
some things that you know Betty Jo would like you to do
with her? Things she has mentioned through the years.”
Here is Bill’s list: