Page 50 - Student: dazed And Confused

Right, it's 30 degrees and I can't think straight. Vodka time !

Funny how my head seems clearer after. a drink. Still can't be arsed with anything but I've
gotta finish it. Writing's supposed to be all about discipline and making sure you reach the
targets you set for yourself. Okay, I agree with that, writing does require a degree of self­
discipline - but you should never ever force yourself to write. If youhave to sit down and
literally make yourself write something, then it's not for you. me, I write if I want to write
and what I want to write.

I worked on this, and all the pieces leading up to it, in a number of different ways. Drafting
and redrafting; writing and rewriting particular part, working on every sentence until it was
perfect. All that stuff, I tried the lot. I think for this I just wrote it 'cos like I said, I had the
bones of it, and then I just edited and rewrote the parts that didn't fit.

Baz said that my old Jess seems to be talking more about reflecting on young Jess. I mean,
that's kinda the point, but he still thinks she should have a story. Gotta say though, really
not sure about that. I don't think she needs more of a story than what I'm giving her in the
rest of the story.

He picked me up on the fact that the then bits are often at least twice the ;ength of the now
parts, said it was wrong to give more space to that story but it is the main bit. And it kinda is
fair because it's that story that old Jess os telling.

We both read these Phil Rickman books where the main story is overshadowed by a side
story and is often treated as a sideline until we are well into the book, and I adore that. But
I can't write like that but it's something to aspire to, and it's good to have ambition !
So, I think he was anticipating something written like that. but I'm not that subtle.

He can't see any other problems apart from where I've messed my tenses up. I'm usually
my worst critic and I can safely say that this isn't even in the same league as what I'm
capable of. But it's too hot to think of something new and original. Well, as always, I've got
3 dozen ideas bouncing round my head so I'm not stuck there. It's just a question of tearing
myself away from reality long enoughto write them.

Vodka time.

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