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Better Is My Death than My Life Hashem, “You must give me the will itself,” and not to say, “You give us and pour onto us from Your holy dwelling
must give me the particular result,” because (as already explained), place the help to receive this good, holy gift….
As I came to the conclusion of my work on this chapter, Hashem that result is not the essence of the work. The work is the will. And
brought to my hand a wonderful passage from Rabbi Baruch Shalom regarding that, we must pray: “I have to serve You properly, and Rabbi Natan is telling Hashem: “You give us gifts. Any impediment
Ashlag in the name of his father, the author of Hasulam, in which You want me to serve You properly. You want this even more than is from our side: that we do not have the ‘hands’ to receive them.
he summarizes all of this in his sweet language, as follows (Shamati, You ‘have to.’ Therefore, You must help me serve You in the way Help us be able to receive Your gifts.” Therefore, do not ask, “How
section 156): that You want me to.” will I be able to build the wholeness of my will?” That itself will
come about as a result of your strong prayers as you do the work of
Three conditions must be met when a person prays. When a person devotes time to the work of the will every day the will. Whenever you devote time to the work of the will, begin
with great regularity, he can argue before Hashem, “Master of the the work of the will with a wholeness of faith. Remind yourself how
a. He must believe that Hashem can save him. Even if he is in world, I obligate myself to stand and want every day—which is much Hashem wants to save you, that He is all-powerful, and that
worse circumstances than anyone else of his generation, “Is the what You want of me. Therefore, You must save me and give me from this moment on you can emerge entirely different! Only when
hand of Hashem too short to save him?” (cf. Isaiah 59:1). Certainly a strong will, because Your good will is to save all those who call to you are strong in this can you progress to visualize your danger and
the Master of the universe can rescue everything of His (and this You in truth.” thus attain the wholeness of will and receive your salvation. Say to
constitutes the wholeness of faith). Hashem:
You must know clearly that everything stated in this entire book—
b. He must realize that he has no other resources. What he was and, in particular, in this chapter—is meant to inspire you to take Master of the universe, You want, yearn and
able to do he already did, and it did not cure his problem. full responsibility for your life, and invest time in the work of the desire to give to me, and You are certainly all-
will. Know that this work is not hard, and the results are infinite. powerful. And I need to be saved, because as long
c. He must know that if Hashem does not help him, better is his By the same token, one may not skip the work. All of us want to as You do not save me I commit transgressions
death than his life. Prayer is the service of the heart—the Hebrew know what this work is and to do it with all our might and with all
word for “service,” avodah, sounds similar to the Hebrew word our heart. and violate Your will, and I cannot move forward
for “lost,” avudah. Prayer helps a person who feels that without in my life. If I really felt this and came to the true
something he is lost. There is certainly no comparison between “And I Pleaded with Hashem” core of my will, I would immediately be saved.
a person who lacks non-essentials and a person who has been Therefore, I pray for this itself: please help me
sentenced to death, who is bound in shackles and who awaits People have asked me: You say that we must make a strong attain the wholeness of will so that I will truly feel
execution, and who can only stand and plead for his life. Certainly request of Hashem and ask for salvation here and now, and even that I cannot live unless You save me.
he does not slumber and is not distracted even a moment from say to Hashem, “You must save me!” But explicit quotes from our
begging for his life (and that constitutes the wholeness of the will). sages indicate that we are not allowed to make forceful demands. Regarding this itself, you must cry out and ask Hashem to help you
Rather, we must plead and pray for Hashem’s compassion. For so that you will be able to sense your danger and cry out to Him.
Awake or Asleep? instance, “Do not make your prayer a routine duty but [an appeal That is something that you can ask to receive immediately,
for Hashem’s] compassion and pleading” (Avot 2:13). Even Moses, because that awareness constitutes your spiritual salvation.
When a person attains the wonderful feeling that he is in great who attained so much and who did so much for others, only And it is something that heaven must give you immediately, because
danger, hanging by his hands from a wall, entirely lost and with no requested an undeserved gift of Hashem. That being the case, who you are asking for a spiritual element that you require, and heaven
alternative to turning to Hashem with prayer and pleading, that are we to demand that Hashem give us what we want at this very wants to give you the spiritual salvation that you need.
is the sweetest moment in his life, because he can then attain the moment?
If you lack this sense of your danger, you cannot cry out and ask
complete and true work of the will that brings about salvations. As Hashem to save you immediately. However, you can cry out that
Rabbi Ashlag states (Shamati, notes): However, according to what I wrote above, it is understood
that there is no contradiction between our obligation to pray for you want to sense the danger, because you know that in fact you
are in danger, and you know that if you are not able to sense the