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46 | A New Light
is not a book of piety. It is not a book of inspiration, ethics or
encouragement. It is a book of law whose ruling in this matter
determines whether the woman is considered married. And this has
implications for questions of her subsequent divorce and marriage.
If this woman will want to marry someone else, she will first require
a bill of divorce. That means that the halachah determines that
a person’s resolve to repent transforms him into a righteous
person! The commentators add, “Even if the items that this man
stole are still in his possession, and he is not said to have repented
until—[metaphorically speaking]—he casts the unclean creature
from his hand, nevertheless, since he has resolved in his mind to
return [what he stole], he is called righteous…” (Chelkat Mechokek).
In other words, although according to the halachic parameters this
man’s repentance is not considered complete until he will rectify
his misdeeds, nevertheless, because he made a mental commitment
to repent, heaven already judges, views and considers him to be
righteous!
This means that heaven knows that it takes time for a person
to rectify his deeds. But heaven tells him, “Although you have
not yet completely rectified your deeds, you wish to. Therefore,
we already judge you favorably in accordance with your intent.”
Heaven judges a person favorably in accordance with his intent,
even if in actuality he cannot immediately rectify his misdeeds.
Therefore, you must have the intent to rectify everything, even if
you cannot actually do so.
A person can offer excuses for all of his failures: he did not
perform a mitzvah because his father kept him from doing so; he
did not reach a certain spiritual level because his wife held him
back; he did not rectify his desires because he was too busy raising
his family and earning a living; or he was ill, or he didn’t have any
money—and a long list of justifications of every description. But
he cannot claim that he was unable to want. A person can always
want. Therefore, heaven judges him in accordance with his will.
“I Can’t” and “I Don’t Want To”
Similarly, we see in everyday life that a person can accomplish
Chapter Two: | 51
whether he wanted to act like Hillel, leading a life
of suffering!
Let us understand this in contemporary terms. Hillel the Elder
earned the equivalent of about 15 modern Israeli shekels for a
day of work (about $5.00). He paid the study hall guardian seven
and a half shekels to enter the study hall. He spent five shekels
on bread for his family, and he set aside two and a half shekels
for Sabbaths and holidays, when he didn’t work. That is to say,
Hillel afflicted himself and lived a life of want and penury that
is completely unimaginable to us. Although he was famished, he
dedicated himself completely, devoting his time and energy, to
learn Torah, giving half of his meager salary to enter the study hall.
That being the case, the Gemara’s statement that by his example
Hillel obligates all poor people to undergo judgment is hard to
understand. How could heaven challenge anyone, “Why weren’t
you like Hillel”? Could an ordinary person withstand and survive
such a reality? Is this what Hashem demands of every poor person—
in fact, of everyone? Why are all of the poor obligated halachically
for not having emulated Hillel, when what he did is reserved for
the elite of the elite? Who could live like this: to work at such
backbreaking labor and endure such poverty? Would someone who
lives like this have the time, will and presence of mind to think
about learning Torah, and in addition spend half of his income
on his learning? If a man were to do so in our generation, his
wife would throw him out of the house. That being the case, how
will heaven make a demand of the poor that there is no way to
comprehend and, moreover, no way to attain? And so, the author
of the Tanya offers a frightening answer: the poor will not be
condemned because they did not act like Hillel, but because
they did not want to be like Hillel. A person is not judged on his
deeds and attainments but on his will.
Shulchan Aruch Harav is not a book of ethics dealing with
elevated qualities, piety and purity, but a manual of halachah that
dictates how we must act. This passage appears in black on white in
a book of practical halachah and with straightforward words: that