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will—and a person’s will is always in his hands. “So why didn’t you and you would have attained goals that you could not otherwise great things with just a small amount of will power. This means that
want?” have dreamed of attaining, because heaven possesses all of the in many instances if a person says that he cannot do something
resources that can help you attain everything you want. But even if the truth is that he does not want to do it. As they say in the
When Rabbi Natan was later asked if he had really said this, he you didn’t actually achieve your goals, if you were strong in your army, “‘I can’t’ is first cousin to ‘I don’t want to.’” That means
replied, “I said it, and I didn’t say it.” He meant that everyone will will, it would be written down in heaven that you succeeded, and that this person is deceiving himself, because when he wants to do
have to give a reckoning of his life. But then he will see that had no complaints would remain against you—because your will is the something, he does it.
he recited these prayers, his reckoning would be less. Why would essence of what is wanted of you.”
it be less? That is because a person is judged in accordance with his This is an important principle about intent, which doesn’t require
will. If he had prayed and expressed his will to attain holy matters, Why Didn’t You Want? lengthy exposition. A wonderful story in Tana Devei Eliyahu
he would have succeeded in attaining some of them through the illustrates this point.
power of his prayer, because “in the way that a person wishes to
With Hashem’s help, I found another proof for this concept in
go, he is led.” And even regarding those matters that he would not an important halachic work, Hilchot Talmud Torah, by Rabbi Once, as I was traveling, [tells Elijah the prophet,] I
attain, if he had wanted and prayed for them, he will be judged Shneur Zalman of Liadi, author of the Tanya, which in discussing met a man who did not know Chumash or Mishnah, and
in accordance with what he wanted, and he will receive reward as this matter makes an incisive and striking statement that we could who spoke [of Torah learning] scornfully and mockingly.
though he did attain them.
never have said on our own. I will quote the passage and then put
the material in the context of our generation. Rabbi Shneur Zalman When he turned to me, I told him: “My son, how
“You Test Him at Every Moment” of Liadi writes (Shulchan Aruch Harav: Yoreh Deah: Hilchot Talmud Torah will you answer your Father in heaven on the day of
3): judgment?”
Essentially, we must know that the statement that heaven’s
judgment concerns a person’s will is not only speaking about what The sages said (Yoma 35b): Hillel obligates the poor to He said to me: “Rabbi, I will have an answer for my
will happen to him after he passes away, because heaven judges a be judged by heaven, because [he mastered the Torah Father in heaven on the day of judgment. I will tell Him
person in this world every year on Rosh Hashanah. In addition, as despite his poverty, and so other poor people are that heaven did not give me the understanding and
the mishnah states (Rosh Hashanah 16a), the entire world is judged a compared to him]. They do not fulfill the mitzvah of knowledge to learn Chumash and Mishnah.”
few other times of the year as well. Furthermore, a baraita teaches learning Torah since they must work to earn a living the
(ibid.): “Rabbi Yossi says that a person is judged every day. As the I told him: “My son, what is your profession?”
verse states, ‘You visit him every morning’ (Job 7:18). Rabbi Natan entire day or most of the day. But they are not acting
says that a person is judged every moment. As the [same] verse as Hillel did. He would cut wood every day to earn half He told me: “I catch fish in nets.”
states, ‘You test him at every moment.’” a dinar. He would give half of this to the guardian of
the study hall, which in those days was located in the I told him, “My son, who told you how to take linen
The holy books teach there are 24 heavenly courts, and at every field, [to gain admittance]. From the other half [of his and weave it into nets and cast them into the sea, and
hour of the day and night one of these courts judges a person for salary], he would support himself and his family—i.e., raise fish out of the sea?”
his deeds. If he is judged favorably, he experiences joy, blessing the amount of three pundayonot (an ancient currency).
and well-being. But if he is judged negatively, he feels depressed In those days, for a pundyon, one could buy a loaf of
and heavy, experiences suffering, and faces obstacles. Although a bread that had the volume of six eggs (a little more than He said to me, “Rabbi, understanding and knowledge
person’s principal judgment occurs on Rosh Hashanah, that is only were given to me for this from heaven.”
in regard to the core of the judgment: whether he will live or die, 300 grams). And he would also use that [money] for
how he will earn a living, how much he will earn, and other such other household expenses, as well as for Sabbaths and I said to him: “My son, just as understanding and
general matters. But regarding how each day and hour will pass, holidays. And although not every person can do this knowledge were given to you on how to cast nets and
whether for the good or not, depends upon heavenly judgment literally as did Hillel, nevertheless [heaven] judges raise fish out of the sea, when it comes to words of