Page 9 - LDBD Community Mailer Magazine - Vol. 2, Issue 1 - Jan Feb 2019

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Relationships

Protect My Mind and Cover My Heart!
by Carla Gaskins

As we move into the Holiday and winter season, many are look-
ing to be cuffed up or booed up. This can be a time of happiness
or sadness for many reasons. I want to focus on relationship
sadness and happiness. I want to take this opportunity to share
my own personal experiences with being booed up. My experi-
ence does not encompass miracles, signs and wonders. Instead,
I want to share mistakes, signs, and warnings to anyone that
cares to listen.
Let me start by saying I am no relationship expert but an expert
in hindsight at seeing mistakes, signs and warnings. What
makes me an expert? I am so elated that you asked. I have been
married 4 times. Yes, I said 4 times and guess what, you get a
prize for reading it right. Now that I have part of your attention
let's take a transparent walk. Both women and men desire to be
in a loving relationship and we all have our reasons for wanting to be in one. Often those
reasons are the same. We desire to have children, to have a beautiful home to share with a
love of our own—someone to do life with. Let's not leave out someone to provide a stable
environment with and for us.
The main motive? No matter what, many desire to be married or in a great relationship that
leads toward marriage. I wanted and desired all of this just like anyone else. Well I will go on
record to say, I can get a man but for reasons beyond my control, I have found I can't KEEP
one. I purposefully put that in caps. It's a key word many of us over look. We cannot keep
anyone. Only God can do that. My first husband was a whoremonger, the second one was
Mexican and spoke very little English. I will wait while you pick your jaw up off the floor,
laugh and ask what the?? Trust me I did the same when I realized how stupid I had been.
Third husband Was a little different. He was the entire opposite of who I was and would nor-
mally date. He was from the streets and had kids from three different women. He is a great
father but was not the best husband. Husband number four was the dream. He was the man
that prayed, waited to have sex until marriage. He loved God, was an ordained leader in his
church and very attentive to my needs, concerns and a romantic.
So now you are trying to figure out “with those qualities why divorce him.” Well let's talk
about the mistakes, signs and warnings. Here’s a little history. I made the decision to stay in
God and do it the right way. We dated for 6 months before I revealed his identity. No one
even knew I was dating until three months into it. We were friends for years. We worshipped
together at the same church in previous years on the praise team. So, we agreed on how we
would date. Then we moved into courtship. After six months I revealed who he was at his
parents 50th wedding Anniversary. I told my kids the week before, so my daughter would not
be caught off guard. We did everything God's way.
So, let’s be clear. You can walk according to the way of God and He will show you things that
you know are real and to which you should pay attention. But I shrugged it off as minor. I
had a very public relationship on purpose. Why? Because I wanted to encourage women and
men that you can fall in love and still be in God's Will. After a year of dating He proposed in a
big way. On Facebook live. The video was shared many times; viewed thousands of times. It
was a real love story.
Part 1—stay tuned for Part 2!

LIVING Day By Day•Net Jan Feb 2019 | 9