Page 56 - 17-45 March 3 2021

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I Think I Can’t

Learned Helplessness
and Academics

By Rifka Schonfeld, Director of S.O.S.
(Strategies For Optimum Success)

“The most common way people give up ŽƵƌ ƐƚƵĚĞŶƚƐ ƉĞƌĐĞŝǀĞ ƚŚĞŵƐĞůǀĞƐ͘ /ŶŝƟĂůůLJ͕
their power is by believing they don’t have they may hope that they will achieve suc-
any.” – Alice Walker ĐĞƐƐ ŝŶ ĂĐĂĚĞŵŝĐ Žƌ ƐŽĐŝĂů ĂƌĞĂƐ͘ Ƶƚ ĂŌĞƌ
repeated failures and disappointments, they
Consider the elephant in the zoo. Every just surrender. We call this sad state of af-
morning, his trainer escorts this huge and fairs “learned helplessness”.
powerful beast straight from his cage to an
open-air area. A thin chain is clamped to his /ƚ͛Ɛ ĞĂƐLJ ƚŽ ͚ŵŝƐĚŝĂŐŶŽƐĞ͛ ƚŚŝƐ ĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶ ĂŶĚ
ĂŶŬůĞ͘ dŚĞ ŽƚŚĞƌ ĞŶĚ ŝƐ ĂƩĂĐŚĞĚ ƚŽ Ă ŵĞƚĂů call it laziness, but that would be a terrible
pole in the ground. The elephant is stuck. shame. There are ‘lazy’ children but they’re
He walks around and around the pole, but not as prevalent as we might think. It’s in-
never tries to pull it away. If only he would cumbent upon us, as parents and mechan-
realize that he is powerful enough to rip the ĐŚŝŵ͕ ƚŽ ĚŝƐĐĞƌŶ ƚŚĞ ĚŝīĞƌĞŶĐĞ͘ ĞĐĂƵƐĞ
pole out of the ground in a single tug. the child with ‘learned helplessness’ can be
ƚƌĞĂƚĞĚ ĂŶĚ ĐĂŶ ďĞ ŵŽƟǀĂƚĞĚ ƚŽ ŽǀĞƌĐŽŵĞ
But he doesn’t. Because when he was a ƚŚŝƐ ĐŽŶĚŝƟŽŶ͘
ďĂďLJ͕ ŚŝƐ ŚĂŶĚůĞƌƐ ĂƩĂĐŚĞĚ Śŝŵ ƚŽ ƚŚĞ
very same pole and he kept trying to break dŚĞ ĮƌƐƚ ƚŚŝŶŐ ƚŽ ĚŽ ŝƐ ƚŽ ĐŚĂŶŐĞ ƚŚĞ ĐŚŝůĚ͛Ɛ
away. Back then, however, he wasn’t strong thought process. We have to readjust his
ĞŶŽƵŐŚ͘ ŌĞƌ Ă ǁŚŝůĞ͕ ŚĞ ŐŽƚ ĨƌƵƐƚƌĂƚĞĚ ĂŶĚ way of thinking that failure is inevitable. We
eventually he learned to surrender himself have to get to the root of the problem.
to his circumstances. Now he assumes that
he is helpless and he stops trying to break Children with “learned helplessness” are
the chain. convinced that they have no control over
their lack of success in academic or social
Why am I telling you this simple story? Be- ŵĂƩĞƌƐ͘ dŚĞLJ ĂƩƌŝďƵƚĞ ƚŚĞŝƌ ĨĂŝůƵƌĞ ƚŽ ĐĞƌ-
cause it is actually a parable for how some of tain factors that are beyond their ability to

Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has developed a special 6-Week
program to teach your child strategies on how to manage
anger with parents, siblings and friends.
A CALMER CHILD.
A CALMER HOME.
IN JUST 6 WEEKS!
CALL NOW FOR MORE DETAILS.
LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE.
E-48 The Bulletin 718.387.0123 • Ads@willbulletin.com March 3 '21