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change. “I failed my test because I’m dumb.” drome immediately. When a bochur starts
“I got a C because my teacher hates me.” “I ĨĞĞůŝŶŐ ŚĞůƉůĞƐƐ ĂďŽƵƚ ŚŝƐ ůĞĂƌŶŝŶŐ ĂďŝůŝƟĞƐ͕
don’t have any friends because everyone ƚŚĞ ZĞďďĞ ǁŝůů ĐĂůů Śŝŵ ƵƉ ĚƵƌŝŶŐ ƌĞĐĞƐƐ ĂŶĚ
thinks I’m stupid.” ƌĞŵŝŶĚ Śŝŵ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ƟŵĞƐ ŚĞ ƵŶĚĞƌƐƚŽŽĚ
ƚŚĞ 'ĞŵŽƌĂŚ ǁĞůů͕ ĂŶĚ ĞǀĞŶ ŚĞůƉĞĚ ĞdžƉůĂŝŶ
^ŽƵŶĚƐ ƉƌĞƩLJ ƐĂĚ͕ ĚŽĞƐŶ͛ƚ ŝƚ͍ ŶĚ LJĞƚ / ŚĂǀĞ it to the other boys in the shiur. The teach-
countless children who come to me with Ğƌ ǁŝůů͕ ůŝŬĞǁŝƐĞ͕ ƌĞŵŝŶĚ ŚĞƌ ƐƚƵĚĞŶƚ ƚŚĂƚ
these very thoughts. They may not verbal- last term the essay she wrote on President
ize them directly. But it’s fairly obvious in Bush was so good that it got posted on the
ƚŚĞ ǁĂLJ ƚŚĞLJ ǁĂůŬ͕ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ǁĂLJ ƚŚĞLJ ƚĂůŬ͕ ĂŶĚ ďƵůůĞƟŶ ďŽĂƌĚ͘ ŶĚ Ă ƐĞŶƐŝƟǀĞ ŵŽƚŚĞƌ ǁŝůů
in the way they seem to ‘give up’on succeed- ĞdžƉůĂŝŶ ƚŽ ŚĞƌ ĚĂƵŐŚƚĞƌ ƚŚĂƚ ĞǀĞŶ ŝĨ ŶŽďŽĚLJ
ing before we barely have a chance to begin ĐĂůůĞĚ ƚŽ ŝŶǀŝƚĞ ŚĞƌ ŽǀĞƌ ĨŽƌ ^ŚĂďďŽƐ ĂŌĞƌ-
working together. ŶŽŽŶ͕ ƚŚĞƌĞ ǁĞƌĞ ƉůĞŶƚLJ ŽĨ ƟŵĞƐ ǁŚĞŶ ƐŚĞ
did spend Shabbos surrounded by friends.
dŚĞƐĞ ŬŝĚƐ ŽŌĞŶ ƚƌĂŶƐĨĞƌ ƚŚĞŝƌ ĨĞĞůŝŶŐƐ ŽĨ It’s happened before. It can happen again.
helplessness to other areas of their lives.
ĐĐŽƌĚŝŶŐ ƚŽ ZŝĐŚĂƌĚ >ĂǀŽŝĞ͕ ĂƵƚŚŽƌ ŽĨ dŚĞ ĐĐŽƌĚŝŶŐ ƚŽ dŚŽŵĂƐ dŽŬĂƌnj͕ ĂŶ ĞĚƵĐĂƚŽƌ
DŽƟǀĂƟŽŶ ƌĞĂŬƚŚƌŽƵŐŚ͕ ͞dŚĞ ĐŚŝůĚ ĐĂŶ ĚĞ- ďĂƐĞĚ ŝŶ DĂƐƐĂĐŚƵƐĞƩĞƐ͕ ͞zŽƵ ĚŽŶ͛ƚ ŚĂǀĞ
ǀĞůŽƉ Ă ƉĞƌŵĂŶĞŶƚ ĮdžĞĚ ĂƫƚƵĚĞ ĂďŽƵƚ ƚŚĞ ďĂĚ ƚŚŽƵŐŚƚƐ ďĞĐĂƵƐĞ LJŽƵ ĨĞĞů ďĂĚ͘ ZĂƚŚĞƌ͕
ŝŶĞǀŝƚĂďŝůŝƚLJ ŽĨ ĨĂŝůƵƌĞ͘ ,ŝƐ ƉĞƌĐĞƉƟŽŶ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ you feel bad because you have bad thoughts.
future is dictated by the past. His feelings of LJ ŝŵƉƌŽǀŝŶŐ ƚŚĞ ƚŚŽƵŐŚƚƐ͕ LJŽƵ ŝŵƉƌŽǀĞ ƚŚĞ
helplessness begin to take on a life of their ĨĞĞůŝŶŐƐ͘͟ tĞ ŚĂǀĞ ƚŽ ďƌĞĂŬ ƚŚĞ ŶĞŐĂƟǀĞ
ŽǁŶ͘ ,ŝƐ ŝŶŝƟĂů ĨĞĞůŝŶŐ ƚŚĂƚ ŚĞ ŝƐ Ă ͞ůŽƵƐLJ ƉĂƩĞƌŶ͘ dŚĞ ĐŚŝůĚ ŚĂƐ ƚŽ ůĞĂƌŶ ƚŚĂƚ ƚŚĞƐĞ
ƌĞĂĚĞƌ͟ ĞdžƉĂŶĚƐ ŝŶƚŽ ƚŚĞ ďĞůŝĞĨ ƚŚĂƚ ŚĞ ŝƐ Ă ƚŚŽƵŐŚƚƐ ĂƌĞ ƵŶƉƌŽĚƵĐƟǀĞ͕ ƵŶƚƌƵĞ͕ ĂŶĚ
ůŽƐĞƌ ŝŶ ƐƉŽƌƚƐ͕ ŝŶ ƐŽĐŝĂů ĂĐƟǀŝƟĞƐ͕ ĂŶĚ ŝŶ ŽƚŚ- harmful to his progress. They have to be re-
er areas of his life as well.” ƉůĂĐĞĚ ǁŝƚŚ ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ƚŚŽƵŐŚƚƐ ŽĨ ƐĞůĨͲǁŽƌƚŚ͘
/Ŷ ŚŝƐ Ŭ͕ dŚĞ KƉƟŵŝƐƟĐ ŚŝůĚ͕ ͞DĂƌƟŶ
tŚĂƚ͛Ɛ Ă ƉĂƌĞŶƚ Žƌ Ă ƚĞĂĐŚĞƌ ƚŽ ĚŽ͍ tĞ ŵƵƐƚ ^ĞůŝŐŵĂŶ ŽīĞƌƐ ƚŚĞƐĞ ƵƐĞĨƵů ƐƚƌĂƚĞŐŝĞƐ ƚŽ
ǁŽƌŬ ƚŽ ĚĞƌĂŝů ƚŚĞƐĞ ŶĞŐĂƟǀĞ ƚŚŽƵŐŚƚƐ ĂŶĚ change to cycle of helplessness.
ƌĞƉůĂĐĞ ƚŚĞŵ ǁŝƚŚ ƉŽƐŝƟǀĞ ŽŶĞƐ͘ /ŶƐƚĞĂĚ ŽĨ
ƚŚŝŶŬŝŶŐ͕ ͞/ ĐĂŶ͛ƚ ĚŽ ƚŚŝƐ͕͟ ƚŚĞ ĐŚŝůĚ ŚĂƐ ƚŽ ƐĂLJ &ŝƌƐƚ͕ ƚŚĞ ĐŚŝůĚ ŚĂƐ ƚŽ ůĞĂƌŶ ƚŽ ŐĂƚŚĞƌ ƚŚĞ ƉŽƐ-
ƚŽ ŚŝŵƐĞůĨ͕ ͞/͛ǀĞ ŐŽƩĞŶ ƚŚƌŽƵŐŚ ĚŝĸĐƵůƚ ƐŝƚƵ- ŝƟǀĞ ĞǀŝĚĞŶĐĞ ŚŝŵƐĞůĨ͘ ,Ğ ŚĂƐ ƚŽ ŬĞĞƉ Ă ͚ůŽŐ͕͛
ĂƟŽŶƐ ůŝŬĞ ƚŚŝƐ ďĞĨŽƌĞ͘ / ĐĂŶ ĚŽ ŝƚ ĂŐĂŝŶ͟ ƐŽ ƚŽ ƐƉĞĂŬ͕ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ƟŵĞƐ ǁŚĞŶ ŚĞ ƐƵĐĐĞĞĚĞĚ
ĂŶĚ ƌĞŵŝŶĚ ŚŝŵƐĞůĨ ŽĨ ƚŚĞŵ ĞǀĞƌLJ ƐŽ ŽŌĞŶ͘
ŵĂƐƚĞƌ ŵĞĐŚĂŶĞĐŚ ǁŝůů ƚƵŶĞ ŝŶ ƚŽ ƚŚŝƐ ƐLJŶ- WĂƌĞŶƚƐ͕ LJŽƵ ĐĂŶ ŚĞůƉ ďLJ ĚŝƐĐƌĞĞƚůLJ ĚŝƐƉůĂLJ-

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March 3 '21 The Bulletin 718.387.0123 • www.willbulletin.com E-49