Page 53 - Vision Manual

Conflict Resolution
Learning to manage conflict is one of the most important skills an individual can learn in life. Conflict is nearly impossible to avoid if you interact with other people, and ineffective methods of conflict resolution can result in feelings of anger, frustration, resentment, and anxiety. Over time, the more that conflicts are avoided, the more we learn to avoid and the scarier conflicts become. The reality is, if you want to have control over your life, you need to learn how to engage in conflicts successfully and manage them without damaging relationships or being exploited.
There are several different tools that are necessary for resolving a conflict.
1. Set the stage
 Identify that there is a conflict going on, and set rules for the
conflict. Saying things like “It seems like we disagree, before we talk about this more, I want to make sure everyone will be heard” can go along way to reduce the intensity of the conflict before it gets out of hand. Examples of rules include the following: No name calling, no interrupting, each person gets a chance to speak, if someone gets angry they can walk away from the situation and return (use “time outs) when they are ready.
2. Get Perspective
 Each person identifies what they think and feel about the
situation. Make sure to use “I” statements (e.g. I feel.... I think
that.... It’s my opinion....).
 Each person gets a chance to talk.
3. Identify common ground
 Identify what common interests the different people have, state
what seems to be important, or what the dilemma is. Find out
why both parties have an interest in what is being said. 4. Propose Options
 Make the situation less about you vs. me and more about you and me by asking for options to resolving the problem. Identify what the different solutions are.
5. Evaluate Options
 Try and determine which options are better. Determine if there is
a compromise, or mid point between the two, and see if that works as well as an option.
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