Page 31 - ARUBA TODAY

A31
PEOPLE & ARTS Friday 22 March 2019
Respecting elders: Maya Angelou clip sparks courtesy debate

By LEANNE ITALIE
Associated Press
NEW YORK (AP) — Put a
handle on it.
If you don’t know what
that means, you might
not call elders by “Mr.,”
‘’Miss” or “Mrs.,” insist that
your children do the same
or demand it for yourself.
If you’ve heard the term,
you’re likely familiar with
the history of the politics
of respectability and what
that means to some Afri-
can-Americans, pro and
con.
Are you from the North or
the South? A small town or
big city native? From a re-
ligious, school or immigrant
community that uses elder
honorifics? Perhaps you’re
Professor, Doctor or Judge.
All of the above were wide-
ly debated on social me-
dia last week, focused on
an old talk-show clip of the
late Maya Angelou sharply
chiding a young woman In this May 20, 2010 file photo, poet Maya Angelou smiles as she greets guests at a garden party at her home in Winston-Salem, N.C.
for addressing her as Maya Associated Press
rather than Miss Angelou on a class trip to San Fran- Phipps, who lives in Los An- “I absolutely expect my have lived lives some of
before asking the poet and cisco to sit in the audience geles and writes for televi- teen daughters to call us can only imagine, es-
memoirist for her views on for a taping with Angelou sion. “We’re living in pro- their friends’ parents Mr. pecially if they grew up in
interracial marriage. of the talk show “People gressive times and a lot of and Mrs., and I expect the a society that was found-
“I’m not ‘Maya.’ I’m 62 are Talking.” people said once they turn same,” said Salow, who is ed on white supremacy,”
years old. I have lived so “Her response threw me off. 18, they feel like they have white. “The kids who live wrote Britni Danielle, in a
long and tried so hard that It was a little awkward for an even platform no mat- across the street from us piece about the tweet at
a young woman like you, me, but at the same time ter how old you are. History are now young adults, in Essence online.
or any other, you have it was like, oh my God this is no longer playing a part and out of college. They “Often times, they weren’t
no license to come up is Maya Angelou,” Watts in how we go about our still call me Mrs. Salow and I given the respect they were
to me and call me by my said. “I remember feeling everyday lives. History is be- feel it is appropriate.” due by the outside world,
first name. That’s first,” she like, oh my gosh I insulted coming history.” Valencia Bey, 49, was born which regularly sought to
said to claps from the au- one of my icons, a person I “It’s an unwritten rule on and raised in Chicago and humiliate and dehumanize
dience. “Also, because at look up to.” respect for elders in which now lives in nearby Oak them at every turn. Those
the same time, I am your Watts said she got a kick a lot of us were born and Park, Illinois. She spent most who did dare speak up
mother, I am your auntie, out of people new the clip raised to ‘put a handle on of her summers in Shelby, and demand their propers
I’m your teacher, I’m your thinking she was still a teen. it,’” he said. “Me personally, Mississippi, with her mater- did so knowing the price
professor. You see?” The 29-year-old Phipps, coming from a strong black nal grandparents and ex- could be steep,” she wrote.
Angelou, who was black, whose Twitter handle is @ Southern family, I didn’t see tended family. The 55-year-old Lucy
apologized later in the PrinceCharmingP, can’t anything wrong with her re- “You just did NOT call elders O’Donnell, with a nearly
show to her questioner, also remember where he found sponse. Everyone is raised by their first name,” said 18-year-old daughter and
black. Pierre Phipps, who the vintage exchange differently.” Bey, who is black. “I was a 21-year-old son in Los An-
tweeted the snippet, has when he tweeted it out Watts, who was adopted taught by folks who felt the geles, was raised in Arling-
heard from all sides since with: “I can’t wait to turn 30 as a child by white parents, way Ms. Angelou did. Ad- ton, Virginia.
then and said opinions are so I can read one of yall for said she was not raised with dressing someone as Mr. or “Two of my daughter’s
varied and plentiful. After calling me by my first name the courtesy title tradition Miss was a sign of respect, friends initially addressed
his March 14 tweet sent An- like this:” or practice for elders in her especially those who came me as Mrs., and I have to
gelou’s name trending on He told the AP in an inter- life. from the Jim Crow South, say I hadn’t even given it
Twitter, Phipps said the Kim view that he was surprised “I wasn’t thinking about where calling a grown a thought until then. I told
in the clip reached out. at the attention the tweet that in the moment,” she black person by their first them that they were wel-
Turns out she’s Kim Watts, has received, especially said of her encounter with name was a sign of disre- come to call me by my first
49, an educator in the San among young people who Angelou. “I like that this spect. White people would name but that if it was im-
Francisco Bay Area. Watts disagreed with Angelou. conversation, though, is purposely not call them Mr. portant in their households
told The Associated Press She died in 2014 at age 86, focused on respect. Given or Mrs. or Miss to reinforce to address adults more for-
by phone Wednesday that and also favored the title my age now, I can see that they were considered mally that was fine, too,”
she doesn’t have a Twitter Dr. in light of her numerous both sides of it.” inferior.” said O’Donnell, who is
account but friends and honorary doctorates. Carrie Salow is a 55-year- Against the backdrop of white. “Both switched to
family alerted her to the “They think Miss Angelou’s old mother of two girls in African-American history, Lucy pretty quickly. The
hub-bub. She said she was response was very elit- Phoenix, where she moved such honorifics are heavy only tradition I can’t abide
a 20-year-old college stu- ist. They were really, re- from Grand Rapids, Michi- indeed. is Mrs. and a husband’s first
dent in 1989 when she went ally pissed about it,” said gan, when she was 15. “Like Angelou, our elders and last name.”q