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Conspiracy Theories 37

Conspiracy Theories

Separating Fact from Fiction

The JFK Assassination
This much we can stipulate: President John F.
Kennedy was assassinated on Nov. 22, 1963,
struck by two bullets — one in the head, one in
the neck — while riding in an open-topped limo
through Dealey Plaza in Dallas. Lee Harvey
Oswald was charged with killing him, and a
presidential commission headed by Chief
Justice Earl Warren found that Oswald acted
alone.
That conclusion hasn't passed muster
with the public. A 2003 ABC News poll found
that 70% of Americans believe Kennedy's death
was the result of a broader plot. The trajectory
of the bullets, some say, didn't square with
Oswald's perch on the sixth floor of the Texas
School Book Depository. Others suggest a
second gunman — perhaps on the grassy knoll
of Dealey Plaza — participated in the shooting.
Others believe in an even broader conspiracy. Conspiracy theorists believe that the remains of Lennon said the phrase was actually "cranberry
Was Kennedy killed by CIA agents acting either crashed UFO spacecrafts are stored at Area 51, sauce" and denied the existence of any
out of anger over the Bay of Pigs or at the behest an Air Force base about 150 miles from Las backward messages).
of Vice President Lyndon Johnson? By KGB Vegas, where government scientists reverse- Paul-is-dead believers think the Beatles
operatives? Mobsters mad at Kennedy's brother engineer the aliens' highly advanced accompanied these backward tape loops and
for initiating the prosecution of organized crime technology. Fodder for this has come from a veiled references to death with album covers
rings? Speculation over one of history's most variety of supposed UFO sightings in the area that illustrated the loss of their friend. The
famous political assassinations is such a popular and testimony from a retired Army colonel who original cover of 1966's Yesterday and Today
parlor game that most people have taken the says he was given access to extraterrestrial album featured the Beatles posed amid raw
rumors to heart: just 32% of those polled by materials gathered from an alien spacecraft that meat and dismembered doll parts —
ABC believe Oswald carried out the killing on crashed in Roswell, N.M. Some believe that the symbolizing McCartney's gruesome accident. If
his own. government studies time travel at Area 51, also fans placed a mirror in front of the Sgt. Pepper
known as Groom Lake or Dreamland. album cover, the words Lonely Hearts on the
9/11 Cover-up The government has developed drum logo could be read as "1 ONE 1 X HE DIE
Not since the JFK assassination has there been a advanced aircraft and weapons systems at 1 ONE 1." And of course, there's the Abbey
national tragedy so heavily imprinted in nearby Nellis Air Force Base, including Stealth Road cover, on which John, George and Ringo
American minds — or that has given rise to bombers and reconnaissance planes. And the forwent all pretense and pretended to cross the
quite as many alternative explanations. While government's official line — that the details of street as a funeral procession. John wore all
videos and photographs of the two planes Area 51 are classified for purposes of national white, like a clergyman. Ringo, the mourner,
security — is only seen as further proof that the dressed in black. George donned jeans, like a
striking the World Trade Center towers are
military is hiding aliens or alien spacecraft. gravedigger. Paul wore no shoes (he didn't need
famous around the world, the sheer profusion of
documentary evidence has only provided even them, because he was dead) and walked out of
more fodder for conspiracy theories. Paul Is Dead step with the others.
A May 2006 Zogby poll found that 42% Paul McCartney never wrote "Maybe I'm If Paul is dead, then his imposter is still
of Americans believed that the government and Amazed." He never formed the band Wings. He at large. He met and married Linda Eastman,
the 9/11 commission "concealed or refused to never clashed with Yoko, became a vegetarian, with whom he had four children before losing
investigate critical evidence that contradicts or fathered any of his children. When Queen her to breast cancer in 1998. He released a live
their official explanation of the September 11th Elizabeth knighted him in 1997, she was album in 1993 called Paul Is Live (likely story),
attacks." Why had the military failed to actually knighting someone else. This is and produced more than 20 solo albums — and
intercept the hijacked planes? Had the because, conspiracy-minded Beatlemaniacs say, that's not even counting the ones released by
government issued a "stand down" order, to Paul McCartney secretly died in 1966. Theorists Wings. Then he endured a horrible divorce from
minimize interference with a secret plan to claim the other Beatles covered up his death — Heather Mills, which may have made him wish
destroy the buildings and blame it on Islamic hiring someone who looked like him, sang like he were dead — or, at least, were still Billy
terrorists? In 2005, Popular Mechanics him, and had the same jovial personality. But Shears. So who is the real McCartney? The
published a massive investigation of similar the guilt eventually got to them and they began world may never know.
claims and responses to them. The reporting hiding clues in their music. In the song
team found that the North American Aerospace "Taxman," George Harrison gave his "advice (Continued on Page 38)
Defense Command (NORAD) did not have a for those who die," meaning Paul. The entire
history of having fighter jets prepped and ready Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album
to intercept aircraft that had gone off route. And was awash with Paul-is-dead clues: the Beatles
while the team found no evidence that the had formed a "new" band featuring a fictional
government had planned the attacks, lack of member named Billy Shears — supposedly the
proof has rarely stopped conspiracy theorists name of Paul's replacement. The album
before. contained John Lennon's "A Day in the Life,"
which had the lyrics "He blew his mind out in a
Area 51 and the Aliens car" and the recorded phrase "Paul is dead, miss
We may have Tang thanks to the space program, him, miss him," which becomes evident only
but who gave us such innovations as the Stealth when the song is played backward. Lennon also
fighter and Kevlar? Aliens, of course. mumbled, "I buried Paul" at the end of
"Strawberry Fields Forever" (in interviews,