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FEATURES | EASTERN HORIZON 45

other things, like missed flights and states. Second, fantasizing about Instead, non-attachment refers to
broken lawnmowers. Unfortunately, the future makes you restless that it the cessation of focus on outcomes.
what we desire is not guaranteed. isn’t here already — which in turn For example, this would mean
causes you to be dissatisfied with, ceasing to fantasize about what the
Despite our best efforts, we and ungrateful for, the present. This world will be like when you finally
sometimes don’t get what we want, behavior is literally training your get that promotion.
and we sometimes get what we brain to be unhappy no matter what
don’t want. you’ve achieved. Finally, research What non-attachment doesn’t mean
has shown that these types of is that you don’t care whether you
But, this is obvious. We all know this. fantasies are associated with get the promotion. Obviously, you
reduced effort in the future. These care. That’s why you’re working
Then, why do we get so angry when types of fantasies may cause you so hard. Non-attachment, however,
our lawnmowers break? Why do we to celebrate success prematurely, reminds us that outcomes cannot be
feel so disappointed when we don’t which reduces your real-life effort guaranteed no matter how hard we
get that promotion? and energy toward your goals. work or how much we prepare.

The problem isn’t the “wanting”, per The more we fantasize about We may be passed over for the
se, the problem is our attachment the future, the more attached we promotion. Our lawnmower
to it. become to it. So, when life doesn’t might break down despite regular
play out as we fantasized, it feels like maintenance. Our marriage might
Attachment an injustice has occurred. It hurts. fall apart even though we went to
Two things are happening when see a marriage counselor.
we want something. First, there is But, this isn’t just true for big life
the desire for the thing to happen. events, like promotions, but also to The concept of non-attachment
Second, there is an attachment to everyday events, like being stuck reminds us that trying and
the outcome. It’s this second part in traffic, dealing with a broken succeeding are two very different
that trips us up. lawnmower, and needing to navigate things. It is wise to try our best, but
the hordes of people at Costco. Our it is unwise to expect success.
Whenever we have a desire for incessant wishful thinking about the
something we imagine what life will future colors our perception of the Sometimes we don’t get what we
be like once we get it. Do you want present. want. Sometimes we get what we
a promotion? What do you imagine don’t want. Most of the time this is
will change once you get it? Do you As Charles Bukowski put it: outside of our control. The concept
imagine receiving the respect and It’s not the large things that send of non-attachment is asking us
admiration of your coworkers and a man to the madhouse… but a to bring this knowledge into our
friends? Do you imagine what you’ll shoelace that snaps with no time left. experience — to live with this
do with all that extra cash? Do you knowledge continuously so that
think your life will be so much better? Non-attachment when things do go sideways we
For most people, the term non- aren’t taken by surprise.

There are a few problems with attachment has negative
these types of fantasies. First, your connotations. It makes us think of Our calamitous contradiction
fantasy is probably an exaggeration. someone who is detached, uncaring, In the Buddhist worldview, there
You won’t be as happy with that or aloof. However, in the Buddhist is one concept we all apply to our
promotion as you think you’ll tradition at least, this is not what is daily lives that causes a massive
be. People are notoriously bad at meant by this concept. rift in our minds. This concept
predicting their future emotional is permanence.