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FEATURE | EASTERN HORIZON 25

be successfully applied to the deceased… then, by consciousness-principle getteth outside [the body, it
the meeting of the Mother-Reality and the Offspring- sayeth to itself ], ‘Am I dead, or am I not dead?’” the
Reality, karma controlleth not.” And, “The aggregate of text explains. “It cannot determine. It seeth its relatives
thy principle of consciousness, being in its pure form— and connexions as it had been used to seeing them
which is the Mirror-like Wisdom—will shine as a bright, before.” The deceased might take up to four days to
radiant white light, from the heart of Vajra-Sattva.” acknowledge her death; she may hover about, calling to
her relatives: Why are you weeping?
Part of the challenge arose from my lack of familiarity
with Tibetan Buddhism. Born to a Tibetan mother In the second stage, we encounter frightening
and an American father, I’d grown up in ’60s visions of deities and demons, projections from our
and ’70s suburban New Jersey and California, subconscious that are like our dreams when we sleep.
watching Bewitched and eating cream cheese and jelly This is an opportunity for us to recognize that these
sandwiches, celebrating Christmas and the Fourth of apparitions, our perceptions, have no independent
July, hiking in the Sierras and rocking out at Santana, existence. “Whatever…terrifying visions thou
Heart, and Fleetwood Mac concerts. Because my mother mayst see,” The Tibetan Book of the Dead instructs,
wanted me and my siblings to feel like we fit in, she “recognize them to be thine own thought-forms.” In
didn’t talk to us about Tibet or Buddhism. Also, as a girl his introduction, Evans-Wentz says that these thought-
she’d felt bored by family prayers in the altar room, by forms are “airy nothings woven into dreams” and
arcane ceremonies carried out in dim monasteries, and that “complete recognition of this psychology by the
had been thrilled to leave behind the old country for deceased sets him free into Reality.”
the bright, modern world of medical school at Columbia
University. She referred to Buddhist ritual as “mumbo The third part of the voyage is about judgment and
jumbo” and “all that hocus pocus.” As for my father, a rebirth. We appear before Yama, Lord of the Dead, who
psychiatrist from New Jersey, he was attracted to Tibetan holds a mirror (our memory); good deeds are weighed
culture but not the religion, and tended to view Western against bad on Yama’s scale (our conscience), and the
interest in Buddhism as “woo-woo” New Age spirituality. nature of our existence going forward is decided. “If the
scale weighs you’re full of sin,” my grandmother used to
In college, I majored in comparative literature (the tell me, “in hot, boiling oil you’re thrown and your body
French and Latin American novel) and planned to is roasted! With all the burns, you’re finished.”
make my life in Paris as a writer. But when I graduated,
I found I wanted to explore my missing half and went Even as I gradually understood more about The Tibetan
instead to Darjeeling to live with my grandmother. Book of the Dead, though, its essence eluded me. Talking
Chatting with her over tea, hearing her stories, initiated with my husband one day about how the novel was
an exploration of my family history and Buddhist going, I said I was having a hard time getting hold of the
philosophy that I’ve been engaged in for more than deeper wisdom of Guru Rinpoche’s book. “It all feels
three decades now. very abstract.”

As I visited my grandmother through the years “An 8th-century teaching about traveling from death to
with my mother and my daughter, the idea for my rebirth feels abstract?”
multigenerational novel took shape. Studying The

Tibetan Book of the Dead, I realized the after-death We laughed. “I know, I know!” I replied. “Still, there’s
interval can be viewed as divided into three stages— something I’m missing.”
with our actions in each determining the nature of
our journey and rebirth—and I decided to structure Then two things happened that changed my
my book in this way. The first part of Guru Rinpoche’s understanding of The Tibetan Book of the Dead, as well
guide is about coming to see we are dead. “When the as my view of how to live my life.