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56 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS

in others. Non-self does not refer both in the short and long terms. Moreover, the bad kamma created
only to personal identity but aims can be neutralised. There can
to extinguish the self and avoid How does kamma (karma) also be reinstatement of a broken
desires. If we truly understand the comes into play when we forgive or damaged relationship when
teaching of non-self then the only or refuse to forgive someone, forgiveness has been properly .
person we need to help and forgive especially when we believe we
is ourselves, not others. Always are not in the wrong? Min Wei: When you forgive
keep in mind that no matter if we someone who has wronged you, it
are in the right or wrong position; Aggacitta: In the case where doesn’t erase that person’s karma
forgiveness is just for ourselves, someone accuses us of doing in having done wrong. Forgiveness
not for the person who hurt you. something wrong but which we may not be able to undo previous
Forgiving the person means you believe to be right, our forgiving bad karma, but it can prevent
have chosen not to dwell on the of the slanderer constitutes new bad karma from being done.
matter anymore and you would like wholesome kamma. On the other Normally, we have every right to
to move on with your life. In fact, hand, if we do not forgive but believe that we are right as well as
forgiving others does not mean that become indignant, resentful we have every right to believe that
they deserve forgiveness, but that or angry, then that is certainly we know something better than
you deserve peace of mind. unwholesome kamma. However, someone else. Therefore, when
we need to note that whereas someone cannot forgive, often he or
Geshe Dadul: The teachings on what is wholesome (kusala) she is still suffering from the effects
non-self doesn’t nullify the notion and unwholesome (akusala) are of trauma and intense stress. You
of selfhood per se. Rather, it refutes absolute because they are based have to deal with the pain as part of
the idea of an absolute selfhood or on the three roots of greed, hate the process of forgiving to ensure
an independent selfhood. It does and delusion and their opposites its success. If forgiveness is not
not eliminate the conventional respectively, right and wrong can be forthcoming, although we believe
self that is functional, operational relative depending on the criteria of that we are right, let’s not press
and that holds promise for judgement. the victim or respond other than
improvement. It only points a with understanding. Let them know
finger at our wrongful projection Unlike the currently popular ritual that you are there to assist them in
of that self to have an inherent, of asking for blanket forgiveness whatever way needed and that you
objective reality of its own and from a monastic teacher at the end respect their decision. We have to
thus serve the necessary fodder to of an event, asking for forgiveness understand that when we forgive,
the resultant gross afflictions such or pardon is only meaningful it does not mean that other party is
as anger, hatred, greed, etc. which when an offence is seen and right.
all build their narrative based on acknowledged by the offender
that projected image. So, there is regardless of whether or not the Geshe Dadul: Forgiving or
the conventional subject to forgive offendee felt offended. deciding not to forgive are actions
the conventional perpetrator for themselves. They are rather
his misdeeds and mutually seek In this way there can be intentional actions on the part
correction at the source level psychological relief for the offender of the person engaging in them.
without risking to aggravate the when pardoned by the offendee Depending on the background
already created situation further to and hopefully future restraint situation, particularly the intention
the detriment of everyone involved from repeating the misdeed. and motivation behind those