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54 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS

doer might just be a helpless victim. the situation and ensuring it does door would only open when we
As for retribution of the misdeed, not occur in the future. It means realize the advantages of forgiving
the law of kamma and that of the first and foremost to not resort to ourselves rather than focusing on
land will settle it. anger, hatred or vengeance as the others’ mistakes and considering
acceptable approach and pursue ourselves as so-called “victims.”
Min Wei: In actual fact, actions based on them. Therefore, the power of forgiving
forgiveness does not condone oneself is comparatively more
evil or wrongdoing. It does not What are the similarities and significant than requesting others
mean forgetting or denying the differences in our mental states for forgiveness. Generally, we
unpleasant feelings that arose. when we forgive others and should be able in the first place
In fact, it serves as an alternative forgive ourselves? to learn to forgive ourselves then
to encourage you to let go of the forgiving others in return will
negative mental states that are Aggacitta: Basically they are the become much easier. Another
harming you. Forgiveness is the same: letting go of clinging to sense is that we will also not feel
powerful assertion that bad things righteous ideas (such as unrealistic bad without others’ forgiveness as
will not ruin you today even though expectations of how one should forgiveness comes within ourselves,
they may have created issues for behave or perform) and of it’s genuinely from the bottom
you then. Forgiveness wipes away aversion towards oneself or others. of our heart. Through forgiving
the damage of the past whether Sometimes it is easier to forgive oneself, the courage to forgive
the hurt occurred many years ago others than oneself especially if others would take course naturally.
or just few minutes ago and allows one is an obsessive perfectionist.
us to fully experience the present After all, a perfectionist is one Geshe Dadul: Forgiving others takes
moment. It produces clarity of who tenaciously clings to the idea the form of letting go of a grudge,
thought by removing the negative of doing things with perfection anger, hatred and vengeance
emotions that cloud the mind and regardless of circumstances which against the perpetrator of their
heart. Strictly speaking, the process may be unforeseen, unfavourable or harmful actions but not necessarily
of forgiveness always starts from unavoidable. forgetting or condoning their
your own heart. It has nothing to wrongful actions. It does not shut
do with the other person as it is Min Wei: Actually, both have a down the prospect of taking action
all about letting go of the pain and mutual relationship. It’s easy to if need be and especially if it is
transforming oneself from a victim forgive others when you have beneficial for all parties including
to a survivor. already forgiven yourself. But it’s the perpetrator. It is essentially a
impossible to forgive others if you mental state of harmlessness or
Geshe Dadul: When someone have not forgiven yourself. The no-harm towards others in the
engages in a harmful deed with full process of forgiving should start wake of others’ harmful overtures.
awareness of its harm and with the within ourselves. Concentrating Forgiving oneself seems to take the
intent of harming, then it is clear on external solution brings us form of letting go of the feelings of
that the person is blinded by strong nowhere, its just an unmature guilt, anger or shame over one’s
afflictions such as anger or hatred way of beating ourselves around past wrongdoing or weakness. It
or even ignorance. Forgiving does the bush and eventually beating involves coming to terms with one’s
not mean setting someone free ourselves up in the process. The past misdeeds and failures and
without holding him accountable or door to our hearts will never open moving on rather than being stuck
with no action taken in correcting but remains closed instead. That in it. So, although one can see some