Page 217 - A Woman Is No Man

transformation had been too gradual. But she saw it now, looking back. She
remembered the day they’d left Palestine. How Khaled had shook as he
locked the door of their shelter, weeping while he waved goodbye to his

family and friends as their cab drove away. How, at the Tel Aviv airport, he
had stopped several times to catch himself, his knees buckling beneath him.
How he had worked day and night in a foreign country where he didn’t
even speak the language, just to ensure they were fed. The loss of his home
had broken his spirit. She hadn’t seen it then, hadn’t recognized that his
world was slowly unraveling. But maybe that’s the way of life, Fareeda
thought. To understand things only after they had passed, only once it was

too late.
She slipped out of her evening gown and into something warmer. The
heating unit in her bedroom didn’t work as well as it once had. Either that,
or her bones were getting frail, but she didn’t like to think that way. She
sighed. She couldn’t believe how quickly time had passed, that she had
gotten old. Old—she shook the thought away. It was not the thought of

being old that bothered her rather the realization of what her life had
amounted to. What a shame, she thought now as she waited for sleep to
come, shuffling through her bank of memories. She didn’t have even a
single good memory to look back on. They had all been tainted.
There was a sound at the door. Startled, Fareeda pulled the blanket over
her body. But it was only Deya, breathing heavily in the doorway. Fareeda
could sense unease in her presence, perhaps even defiance. It reminded her

of Sarah, and suddenly she was afraid. “What do you want?” Fareeda said.
“Why aren’t you in bed?”
Deya took several steps into the room. “I know my parents didn’t die in
a car accident!” She was shouting even though she only stood a few feet
away. “Why did you lie?”
For goodness sake, Fareeda thought, holding her breath. Not this again.

How many times had she been over this? Your parents died in a car
accident, your parents died in a car accident. She had said those words so
many times that sometimes even she believed them. She wished she could
believe them entirely. Unlike Sarah’s disappearance, Isra’s murder was not
something she had been able to hide from the community. By morning, the
news had traveled all over Bay Ridge, had even made it to Palestine.
Khaled and Fareeda’s son had murdered his wife. Khaled and Fareeda’s son

had committed suicide. Their shame was terrible.