Page 264 - A Woman Is No Man

standing up for herself would only lead to disappointment when she lost the
battle. That the things she wanted for herself were a fight she could never
win. That it was safer to surrender and do what she was supposed to do.

What would happen if she disobeyed her family? the old voice asked.
Would she be able to shake off her culture that easily? What if her
community turned out to be right after all? What if she would never truly
belong anywhere? What if she ended up all alone? Deya hesitated. She had
finally come to understand the depths of Isra’s love, which she had terribly
misjudged, had finally learned that there was more to people below the
surface, that despite everything her family had done, they loved her in their

own way. What would she do without them? Without her sisters? Even
without Fareeda and Khaled? As angry as she might be, she didn’t want to
lose them.
And yet even as she heard this old voice in her head, she could still feel
the shift that had just occurred inside her. The old voice was no longer
strong enough to hold her back—Deya knew this now. She knew this voice

that she had always taken as the absolute truth was actually the very thing
preventing her from achieving everything she wanted. The voice was the
lie, and all the things she wanted for herself were the truth, perhaps the
most important truth in the world. And because of this she had to stand up
for herself. She had to fight. She had to. The fight was worth everything if it
meant finally having a voice.
Did she want to put her life in the hands of other people? Could she ever

achieve her dreams if she remained dependent on pleasing her family?
Perhaps her life would be more than it was now if she hadn’t tried so hard
to live up to her grandparents’ opinion of her. It was more important to
honor her own values in life, to live her own dreams and her own vision,
than to allow others to choose that path for her, even if standing up for
herself was terrifying. That was what she must do. What did it matter if her

grandparents were mad? What did it matter if she defied her community?
What did it matter if people thought negatively of her? What did all these
people’s opinions of her life matter? She needed to follow her own path in
life. She needed to apply to college.
Deya spent the night thinking things over and devising a plan. The next
morning, she decided to visit Sarah. She’d visited her aunt less frequently in
the weeks since Sarah had given her the newspaper clipping. They were still

working to repair the damage Sarah had done by concealing the truth about